Perhaps it was all part of a plan. The trips and the late nights. All the talks about the personal bubbles and long rides. But every time, I wished time did not exist. Because it's all moving too fast. And the colors too vidid, my brain starts to hurt and The
And, his eyes start to swell up with tears. Because in reality, we are just two separate souls crossing paths. The realization of nothingness hurts to a level where all you could utter is "wait". Deep down you know that this is just temporary. So you just want the scene to freeze right where it is.
Just
Looking at each others' eyes. In the darkness of the night. Barely illuminated by the street lamp. You wish you could read my mind. To see if I am as deeply wounded as you are. You blink once
Twice
For a second there, I felt a deep sympathy for the pain you must be feeling. I didn't want that. I wanted the nothingness. I wanted plain, uncomplicated stillness.
"Don't" I thought silently.
And you remember everything all clear. You have influenced me with everything you did and said. You know it well. I have grown fond of the personal bubble. Hated the noise. And found it difficult to concentrate.
You murmur, "Alright"
Knowing that even if we never become something from the nothingness, my soul have felt yours. With impact.
Impact so strong, that all the marks left on the material body and the soul started throbbing. As if the blood only rushed to the bruises.
I feel light headed.
I need to sit
I need to not see your pain
Because it's not helping me breathe.
Seeing you suffer from goodbyes
I turn away and start walking towards the gate.
I wanted to look back
A thousand times
I know you are still there. In the midst of the night.
Blended into the darkness
Watching me slowly walk away from you.
I wanted to look at you one more time.
But how can I?
I would never get enough of looking at you.
My willpower against pain felt stronger than ever. I held my head high as I walked. Unconsciously bit my lips to fight back the knot growing in my throat.
A long held breath was released as I entered home.
Slowly I felt your presence fading.
Into the nothingness. That's what we are.
And that's what we will always be.
