She is far from happy

Beep BEep BEEp BEEP! The alarm went off for her to get out of bed. She lives with her dad, mom, little sister, and older brother. She has always lived in this same house since she was born that's over 15 years, almost 16 years now. Her family is happy and so loving, but her on the other hand, she is fighting demons in herself.

She reluctantly gets out of bed wishing she just had not woken up at all. She doesn't eat breakfast. She gets dressed in her usual jeans, some random tee-shirt, and a hoodie that's way too big for her. She brushes her hair and pulls it into a ponytail like usual. Then she brushes her teeth. Then she goes out to the car and waits for her dad to get in to take her to school.

On the car ride to school she just thinks to herself what the people at school have in store for her today. When the school comes into view she thinks to herself why does she even bother with this hell on earth, everyone else calls it life she calls it absolute, slow, painful torture to an eventual, hopeful finally able to be happy death. She wants to tell her dad how she feels and what she was just thinking because sometimes her thoughts like that really scare her. If she were to say anything she would probably end up overly censoring it so he wouldn't understand that she isn't happy at all. She leaves circuitous hints that she isn't happy but she has gotten to good at lying and hiding things when her parents actually talk to her about how she may be feeling.

She got out of the car and reluctantly entered the school, watching the ground, not able to walk around with her head held high because she had no strength or self-esteem to do so. She sat down at an empty table like she always does. No one ever talked to her at least till her lunch period. She preferred being alone over anything else in this school tho.

Now for the dreaded lunch period. She sits alone just her and her music (she never eats lunch). She feels so alone even tho the room is crowded and full of obnoxious noise. Then comes the worst part, heading straight for her, the group of people that she swears has vowed to make her life a living hell till she won't take any of it anymore.

The group approached her, she just sits listening to her music ignoring the fact they are coming for her as always. They start right off censuring her today about how she dresses in the same "crappy" clothes then they sit at the table, that was new. They start to comment that she always has all her skin covered, they ask "why? " she responds with " because it's what I'm comfortable in just like you girls are comfortable looking like sluts." Her caustic response was puzzling to them because she doesn't normally respond so this just egged them on to keep going. There come back was they said they know her secret. That hit her hard. Wondering what they might know. They were just charlatan about knowing any secrets about her but the way her face looked circumspect, they knew they hit a spot that hurt her so they went with it. They left her with this "we know your secret and we will expose is with good time." She felt chagrin thinking they actually knew something.

When the end of the day came she was still thinking about what they had said, she was quiet the whole car ride home. She of course had secrets, very many actually. She thinks they must know something with the comments they had made today. Her parents asked how her day was, she circumvented the subject and went to her room. She went to her room to fulfill the chronic thoughts that fill her mind everyday but then her mom walked in just before she got to her "tools" luckily her mom couldn't suspect anything her mom asked her what was up with how she blew off the questions they asked about her day today. She told her mom she was to tired for this right now, trying to clandestine why she was actually trying to hide out in her room.

Her mom left for her to get some "sleep", she didn't actually sleep she had fulfilled the secret and cried herself to sleep that night and her dreams haunted her about people learning her secret and how much worse things could be if people found out. Beep BEep BEEp BEEP! She woke up again to another miserable day but she had a happy thought as she went to the bathroom to brush her hair that happy thought brought her to her happy place because she fulfilled the thought. Although it brought pain to many others she was finally happy and free.