ETCHED IN FORBEARANCE (A MINI SERIES)

EPISODE 01: "THE FIRST"

Feelings are sometimes mistaken by the world. Love can be misunderstood. Sympathy will be misinterpreted now and then. My life is a book misread at every page. When she came to this world, my life changed a whole chapter. The natural emotions I had were judged and verified then twisted and turned into a totally different contour. But that didn't change my love for her. Devoted as I was, I made her my soul and lone reason to live.

I tied my knot, even though my whole family was against it. I loved her and that's what mattered. No one would love her more than me, I knew it. Everybody knew it deep down but no one wanted to believe it. I wanted the best for her. And I am the best for her. Her father would have agreed, if he would be alive but then if he would have been alive I wouldn't have been here tying my knot with his wife.

She curled her fingers around mine. The best feeling in the world is to see a baby being born. All gooey and pink, for a normal person she would be disgusting and revolting. For me it was love at first sight. She was the most beautiful creature created by god. The moment she cried I was captivated by her. A sense of belonging engulfed me. Wrapped in a pink and white towel she was handed over to me for safe keeping. The only barrier between me and her was the towel she was enveloped in, sound asleep in my arms. I have never held a baby before in my life but she snugged easily in my cradled arms as if they were craved for only her. My princess, my love, my Elif; just like her name she is the firstly and only being that holds my world while she holds my finger. I would have lived my whole life for her but then sometime else happened.

She came running and grabbed my leg so I pulled her up in my arms. She giggled and asked me to lift her up high, so she could touch the clouds above her. She had totally skipped the part where the child starts to walk; she jumped way ahead. This was due to the immense amount of energy she has in her small nine month old body. She hugged me and I carried her inside where her grandmother was sitting peeling peas. I sat down right next to her with my little angel on my lap. Elif started playing with the peas and her grandmother called out her mother. Hira came with a glass of juice, dressed in a lemon yellow shirt and white salwar. She was looking a lot more drained and feeble since yesterday; well she has been worn-out since the big disaster.

I always visited them on Friday evenings. But today I was called on an urgent meeting. Hira's father had rung me in the middle of the night and ordered me to meet him the next day. I was a bit curious, but well I have never gathered the strength to question the Colonel let alone talk to him. I dutifully obliged the command and came here first thing in the morning. A part of me was petrified; anxious and terrified for Elif. The fear vanished in the moment I saw her. The cuteness she wears and the love she carries is contagious.

Hira makes the best samosas in the whole world and the green chili chutney is to die for. Coupled with the strong tea, it made my evening wonderful. The sun had gone home to sleep and the sky was roofed with dark clouds. The meteorologist had no news of rain today, it's a cliché; they are never correct about the weather of Karachi. Apart from the weird weather I could sense something in the air. Something wasn't right; I couldn't put a finger on it. The Colonel's missus was all chirpy, like never before, but Hira was lower, bluer and glum than usual.

We heard the horn of the Mercedes and our eyes were glued to the entrance. The unified sound of footsteps declared the incoming of Colonel Sahib. A man of honor, strict and straight even the enormous passage of his lifetime has not lowered his shoulders. Mrs. Colonel stood right up and went to the kitchen while Hira picked up our sleepy Elif and went to her room. I was confused, yes! I have seen the terror and rage of the mighty solider but this was dissimilar and it proved to be so. The sturdy man himself came to me and asked me to join him in his study. I gathered my disturbed self and followed the trail. I saw Mrs. Colonel poking her head from the kitchen window. It was then I questioned myself; Am I in trouble?

He sat on his usual chair with one leg on the other. His right hand had his silver cigar cutter and the left one carried the brown box in which he had his exotic cigars. He signaled me to sit down and I was shocked on his response. Before today the man never gave me a proper look. He always treated me like I was the hollow man. I was entertained only by the female gender of the house that goes for the servants too. I thought I might have been dreaming, why in the world would the great colonel want from me?

"So what do you say?" said the colonel

"Heh?" I was confused.

"Boy! Were you listening to what I just told you?"

"No sorry sir. My mind was somewhere else", I was ashamed. He blabbered something under his breath and said "We are thinking of getting Hira re-married." The news hit me like a stone. I never considered the fact that Hira would marry again. I mean this is wrong on so many levels. The Colonel had start talking again. I tried to concentrate on every word he said. He was saying a friend of his had asked for his daughter's hand in marriage. I stopped him right away. "Sir I am extremely sorry to interrupt but who is this gentleman?"

"It's Major Khurram. You remember him. He is my friend. You must have seen him at the wedding", he told me casually.

"Yes! I know him very well but won't he be a bit too..... old for Hira?"

"My daughter is a widow son, she won't be getting eligible bachelors from up town and more over her daughter will not be accepted by the most."

Seeing Hira married off once was over than enough to handle and now it was all going to happen again. She will be married off to someone who is old enough to be her father. When I said nothing the Colonel started to talk again
"Son, believe me I am not ready to send off my daughter to a man my age but the world is cooking up stories."

"Sorry, what stories exactly? Can't a widow live under her father's shadow?"

"Now that you have asked yourself, that's the point I needed to talk to you on. Everybody is pointing fingers at my daughter because of you! They say that something is up between you two. They say Elif is only a fib; you come here to meet my daughter. They say you have betrayed your best friend."

I went into full rage. That was the limit of my patience. My pure emotions were squashed, crushed, trodden and thrown in the dustbin. I stood up anger in my eyes. The sound of thunder outside resembled the indignation inside me. I couldn't utter a word, I was trembling with fury.

The Colonel had not stopped cursing me, he said that it was because of me that no one was coming to marry Hira and now I had to discontinue meeting them. My life stood still, for a second I thought my soul had left my body and met its final destination. A life without Elif. I looked at the man in front of me.

"Please sir! Don't do this to me. You know how much I love her. She is my life. I never thought of parting ways with her. Nobody can love her more than me!"

He stopped me in the middle of the sentence, "- I know nobody can love her more than you. Look if you want to be with them. Marry my daughter. That's the only way Elif can be yours forever."

I was shaken down to the core. Hira was my best friends' widow. How could I marry her? I had feelings for her when we were young but then Shoaib married her and I faced the union of my love with my best friend. The scar took time to heal and I had come to accept the fact that she wasn't mine. That was engraved in my brain and carved in my heart. My sutures were ripped again. I was bleeding.

I stood up and ran blindly into the door. I hadn't noticed that the electricity had gone out; I thought the darkness around me was merely my imaginative reaction to the emotions. I opened the door and marched toward the exit. I could hear Elif crying, she might have woken up because of the power shutdown.

As I was stepping in the garden the rain hit me hard. My anger and emotions all compressed inside me. I ran as fast as I could. I wanted to get away from the house as quickly as I could. I was misjudged, misread.

TO BE CONTINUED!