ETCHED IN FORBEARANCE (A MINI SERIES)

EPISODE 05: "ROLLER COASTER RIDE"

Panting heavily, I made it to the underground stairs that were leading me to her. I jumped two steps at once and miraculously landed safely on the ground. I saw her sitting timidly on a bench at the far end of the station. She had her back to me, her long straight hairs were now rolled, tied up in a bun and the red shawl was wrapped all around her. As if somebody had whispered to her about my approaching, she instantly turned back and our eyes met. Her eye lashes glittered from the light above her and that's when I knew she was crying. My steps swiftly raced towards her, to engulf her in the protection of my arms. She too, stood up and sped towards me. Dramatic as it was, we embraced in the middle of the deserted station as a dead bulb flickered its last breaths above us. Her grip around me was tightening with every second as she sobbed on my chest. When we detached I wiped her tears with my thumb and she looked at me with her oh so beautiful eyes. I wanted her so much I could sense it. There was a vibe around us; a magnetic invisible force and I knew she felt it too.

They say you can forget your first love and she was my first; many girls came and went carrying some glimpse of her. I was studying her face when I realized that we were holding hands for the first time. Her small hands grasped in mine and the time stood still. I spotted a little mark shaped of a heart right at the start of her jaw line. As I traced it with my forefinger something else caught my attention. My eyes shifted from her face to a man behind her. She saw that my concentration had diverted to someone at her back. It was a man approximately my size. He was tipsy because he was smiling like an idiot displaying all his crooked teeth. I was so caught up in the moment that I hadn't observed him before.

Without a warning Hira started dragging me towards the train waiting at the platform. The train started to move as I took the seat beside her and Hira stared horrifyingly at the drunken man outside. We sat quietly through the whole journey, I was lost in her and she was lost in herself. After sometime I felt her head resting on my shoulder. She must have been sleeping or may be was pretending to; I didn't know. Maybe it was my luck, or fate or just a crazy moment but I did not intend to let it go wasted. So, I inhaled the smell of her hairs fruity fragrance. Greedily I took deep breaths, filling my stomach with her smell wondering if I could ever have a chance to be so close to her.

The train came to a halt, she woke up with a jolt and left the train before me, then waited outside for me. We walked past a basketball court, a tall boy with blond hairs wearing the Knicks jersey and dribbling the ball mindlessly. What was he thinking? I wouldn't ever know. I could I couldn't even know what was she thinking. She stared at the ground from time to time, mute she was. What was going in her mind? I wanted to know. The silence was making me restless.

She shivered a little and I offered her my jacket. She resisted at first but then gave up and I helped her, it was just like in the movies. I unclipped her bun and her long hairs fell on the shoulders making the air around me fruity again. She looked up and gave me a weak smile then she hugged herself and sighed. May be she was smelling my cologne taking it in. May be she too wanted to cherish the moment and capture the scent; doubting if ever again she would have a chance like this.

What is the harm in thinking about love? Thoughts don't apply tax. I was dreaming with my eyes open, that's what love does to you. It makes you want to believe in things that are out of you reach. Hallucinations of a perfect life with a perfect partner that's what I was experiencing. What's so wrong about it? For a moment tonight, I just don't want to be scared for the future. I want to live the romantic present and then relive the passionate past. For a moment tonight, I just want her to belong to me. I want her to be all mine!

That night I slept peacefully, without a thought of resentment in my mind. The sun wasn't up yet but I was up and energized with optimism. She was sleeping beside me, her long hairs were spread across the pillow one arm above her head. The gentle rise and fall of her chest indicated of her alive status. I observed her face tracing the details and the heart shaped mark near her chin. It felt like she was mine for a long time now. I had to make everything right.