It's never easy

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Saying goodbye is never easy, no matter how often you do it. Some farewells hurt more than others and could sever somebody’s happiness. I have gone through many painful goodbyes but none of them hurt as much as the time when I had to part with my brother forever.

   I was walking home from school on a cold winters day without a care in the world. As soon as I reached my front door, my mood instantly changed. I could hear my mother’s protests from where I stood on the opposite side of the hardy oak door. I pressed my ear up against it hoping to catch little bits and pieces of the on-going conversation. That is when I heard something that I’ve never heard before. My father was crying. I took that as my cue to enter the little white house that I called my home.

   Turning the brass doorknob in my gloved hand, I gingerly pushed open the door, poking my head in before fully stepping into the warm living room. The fire from our quaint black fire-place cast the room in an orange glow making it appear so warm and comforting. My jade eyes slowly surveyed the scene before me. My mother was sitting in her favorite floral print armchair, face buried in her petite hands, quietly sobbing while my father sat at the bottom of he sturdy old staircase that led up to the bedrooms. He was hunched over, shoulders shaking, his head moving left and right as he mumbled to himself. I looked back and forth between my sobbing parents before diverting my eyes to the soft beige carpet covering the floor. Not knowing what to do, I hesitantly tip-toed towards the staircase, careful not to disturb my shaking father.

   Slowly making my way up the stairs, I found my eighteen year old brother sitting on his bed, blue eyes staring out the window. I walked in taking off my winter jacket in the process before sitting down next to him, waiting for something to happen. Finally, he looked at me his ocean blue eyes glossed over with tears. He pulled me into his lap and hugged me tight. I looked up at him as his cerulean orbs stared off into the distance. I watched wordlessly as a silent tear rolled down his left cheek before it landed on mine. I snuggled up against him, his body heat creating a blanket of warmth and comfort as I looked around his room. My green eyes started tearing as they landed on two rather large duffle bags by my brother’s door. Some of his favorite books were missing and several framed photographs no longer stood in their rightful places. I looked back up at my brother’s face. It was contorted with fear, pain and sadness. I remembered both my parents quietly crying. Looking at the duffle bags and the empty spaces where his most prized possessions once were, realization finally dawned upon me. My brother, my beloved older brother, was getting drafted. Tears started flowing freely down my freckled cheeks as I pressed myself further into my brother’s toned chest, his strong arms cradling my small frame as he lay his head on top of mine whispering kind words of comfort although I knew that he was still crying, his once strong heart shattered into a million irreplaceable fragments.

   As we sat around the dining table, nobody said a word. I barely touched my food when a sharp knock came on our front door. Everybody’s head shot in the direction of the dreaded sound as my father calmly got up and left the table, everyone else followed suite. At the door, were two tall men. Both in their military uniforms. The shorter blond announced that they were here to take my brother away. I stared at him in horror before realizing something of grave importance. I looked the blond man in the eye and said,

“I thought that we were allowed a maximum of three days before you have to take my brother away.” I smirked at the shocked expression that graced the man’s face before stealing a glance at my parents and older brother who were all staring nervously at the ground. What the soldier said next wiped the smirk right off my face.

“It has been four days dearie and I’m afraid that we simply cannot wait any longer. The US military is in desperate need of manpower.”

I whipped around and stared at my family in disbelief.

“Is this true?”

I questioned, my voice breaking as tears filled my forest-green eyes. They nodded in unison before looking at me with saddened, pain-filled eyes.

“Why?.....” I trailed off as the tears continued to roll down my flushed face.

“Because honey, we thought that I we didn’t tell you till the very last minute, you would be happier….” My mother replied gently.

“What kind of logic is that?! It doesn’t make any sense!!” I burst out glaring at them. My brother came forward and hugged me, stroking my long brown locks before whispering

“I’m sorry but it was my idea. I thought that if you dint know, it would give you more time to be relaxed and enjoy yourself. I just wanted you to be happy baby sis.” He chocked back a sob and looked me in the eye. I stared at him, carving his youthful face into my heart and mind for safe keeping as he pulled me into a hug. I buried my face into his uniform clad chest as I hugged him, holding onto him as if my life depended on it.

   He slowly let go of me before fishing around in his pocket. He finally brought out a beautiful necklace with a silver locket. On it, he engraved my name and on the back it said “FAITH, TRUST AND PIXIE DUST” my favorite quote. I giggled before gingerly taking the necklace from his open palm.

“Thank you…” I whispered in a voice just barely above a whisper.

“Anything for my favorite little sister.” He replied a genuine smile on his kind face.

“I’m your only little sister.” I laughed and playfully shoved him.

“And that’s why I’ll love you to the moon and back.” He laughed and nuzzled my messy chocolate tresses before flashing me a toothy grin. He hugged my parents and kissed them both on their cheeks before giving me final hug. The two soldiers escorted him to the awaiting truck as my brother bid us his final goodbye.

“Farewell! I love you!”

   Two months later, a letter came in the mail stating that they had found my brother’s corpse after a bomb exploded during combat. I cried myself to sleep wishing for my brother’ to be by my side once more. “Why do old men create wars for young men to die in?” I murmured to myself before finally falling asleep with a ear-stained face, clutching the silver locket to my heart.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 10, 2013 ⏰

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