Caught in the Past [Hakuouki]

Blood and Flashbacks

The dreams never stopped...

I'm standing helplessly... there is a sword above me... it's falling... I am about to be killed... but then... there is someone in front of me... the blade reaches them...

And then I am covered in blood.

I woke with a violent jerk and sucked in a gasp that seemed starved for air. Blinking incredulously, my eyes darted around my now familiar surroundings. I hungrily took in the safety of the walls surrounding me and the warmth of my futon. Slowly coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't in any immediate danger, my ragged breathing quieted. Gradually, one by one, my tense muscles unclenched.

A flash of anger and frustration surged through me, electrifying my nerves and sending fire through my blood. My hand heatedly fisted into the blanket, and I buried my face in my pillow, groaning. The pain and fury in my voice surprised me, even frightened me. But then...I supposed that anyone else who had been weighed down by the same nightmare for six years would feel the same as I did.

The rage faded, replaced by a lingering sense of regret and grief. As I drew in a deep breath, the roiling sea in my heart died down to the placid surface of a lake empty of life. I lifted my head and stared at the rays of sunlight filtering in through the window.

It wasn't fair. Everything had happened over six years ago, so why was I still plagued by dreams every night? How could a single day, a single moment haunt me for so long? I could only claw for an answer and scrabble for relief.

My hand yearningly stretched toward the shaft of light that bathed the wooden floor, seeking out its comforting warmth. As the gold rays kissed my fingertips, they seemed to travel through my hand, up the length of my arm and straight into my soul, telling me all would be well. And for a moment, I believed them.

I stood up, throwing off my blanket, and walked to the window. As shifted it open a crack, the light intensified to a blinding concentration, and my eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to shield my pupils from the blaze. Still, I drank up the warmth, letting it reach into my very depths and obliterate the cold that seeped in with my nightmares.

It was just about then that I opened my eyes and saw the buzz of activity out on the compound. Alarm ripped through me as I realized I was late for my first patrol.

Shit.

I slammed the window shut and threw off my sleeping yukata, then dove for something to change into. Once dressed, I tugged my hair back into a high ponytail, grabbed my sword and bag, (I didn't want to leave my satchel unattended so anyone could take it) and raced out the door.

How could I have been so scatterbrained? My reminiscing about the past had caused me to forget all about the present. Kaito had died six years ago, and there was nothing I could do about that. But my dad was still alive--at least as far as I knew, and I had to do whatever I could to keep it that way. Tardiness on my first opportunity to do that wouldn't help my case.

By the time I reached the gate to the Shinsengumi headquarters, Okita's patrol was just leaving.

"Wait!" I called out.

Okita's head whipped around to face me as I caught up to the patrol, and his eyes narrowed. "Well, you finally decided to join us, Kitten."

My cheeks burned, but I kept my mouth shut.

But he didn't stop there. "You know, you've got a lot of nerve showing up late after everything you said yesterday."

"I know!" I barked at him. A familiar surge of rage welled up inside me, but I gritted my teeth and reigned in my temper. Getting angry wouldn't help me now. Meeting his green eyes, I spoke more softly, "Look, I'm sorry, but I'm here now, okay?"