Dear Stranger

4

Dear Stranger,

Tell me, what do I do now?

I'm back with Brayden. I really don't want to be. I'm afraid to not be. I have to have someone to protect me. Anyways, I'm also afraid not to be because he could hurt me.

Jackson could help me. I mean, he could protect me, also. But he can't always be there. Then Brayden could hurt me. I'm not going to think he wouldn't.

He says he loves me, though. If he ever hurt me, it'd be an accident. Or if he got really mad. Or if it was my fault.

He never hurt me before. Physically. He doesn't want to.

Jackson, he's mad at me again. He isn't very mad, he's just mad that I'm with Brayden. I can't tell him why I am. He'd be mad. He might hurt Brayden, and then Brayden might hurt me.

Jamie's still scared for me. She's the closest I have to a friend. And I wouldn't even have her if she wasn't cursed to be stuck with me. I'm her sister.

Jennette, she isn't really a friend. She only talks to me because she feels bad for me. I know this. Brayden told me. But I'm not going to tell her she doesn't have to talk to me. It feels nice to have someone there for me, even if they don't really care.

Garrett, he's not exactly a friend either. He's Jackson's friend. Garrett talks to me sometimes. He says hi to me in the halls. He's pretty nice. But he's not super nice. Garrett's on the soccer team, always talking about it, posting about it. But he's loyal.

Brayden, he's on the soccer team, too. I go to his games. All of them. Unless he's mad at me, then he tells me not to go. I listen. I wouldn't disobey him. He's not really a friend. He's probably only there because he feels bad for me, too. Because when we're not dating he yells at me. I'm sure he only comes back because he feels bad for me, because I know he can get better girls.

Lastly, Jackson. Jackson's the only friend I know I have, not counting Jamie, who's stuck with me. Jackson, he's really smart, and always helps me out. He's protective of me. That's why he gets mad that I'm with Brayden.

Brayden and Jackson used to be friends. I only talked to Brayden when I had to, when he was with Jackson. He seemed nice enough. He acted like he cared about me a lot, always made sure everything was okay. I should've listened to Jackson after that.

Jackson warned me. He told me Brayden wasn't a good person. It was hard to believe him. Brayden was the only person I could call a friend other than Jackson, because he always acted so nice towards me. Jackson said to me that this wasn't how he really was. But I didn't listen. Why couldn't I listen? I messed it up. Why do I never listen?

Brayden. He asked me out. That never happened to me before. We were freshmans. I felt safe with him. I went out with him. About a week later, this started to change. He started to boss me around, then change his attitude and tell me he loves me. Once I didn't do a small thing he said or forgot to text him for a day, he'd go off on me. He'd get really mad. He'd tell me he hates me. Him, being my friend boyfriend, the first person to love me, I had to keep going back for him.

Jackson knew this would happen, and he knew I was too persuasive. He knew I was too dependent to do anything without him.

He knew that Brayden would make me need him, and that I'd not be able to refuse him.

He knew what was best for me.

But I didn't listen.

~H