Marked (Supernatural) [Rogue Trilogy] {2}

18.5 - "This Is Me Now."

18.5 – "This Is Me Now."

Since I've been able to simmer down, I feel in a slump. I feel bored. I feel cheated. I'd lost my chance to kill Metatron. I should've acted sooner. I should've killed the bastard. It'd be one less menace on this planet.

I've been too lazy to switch out of my clothes for something else. I haven't eaten, I lost my appetite. Sam and Dean haven't talked to me since Cas took Metatron out of the bunker. I know they'll come around soon, just not at the moment. Not when the emotion is still raw.

I've got some music playing off of my phone, something to fill the silence. I'm wiping off my angel blade, ridding it of Metatron's blood.

A soft knock has me look. Cas has returned, no Metatron to be found. I offer him a weak smile.

"Hey," I say.

"Are you...?"

I push my bangs out of my face. "I'll be good." I lift the mattress to slip the angel blade under it. "You know, I'm not sure whether or not to be pissed or grateful for you demolishing the dungeon door." I cross my arms.

"I would think you would be grateful." Cas steps into the room.

"Have you found Claire?"

"We've decided to start trying to keep in touch."

"Good, good." I can't help but look at his lips. "Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"You know, the way you stormed into the dungeon like you owned the place was pretty badass." My hands curl into his hair. "Pretty sexy, if you ask me."

I don't let him get a word in, I make sure his mouth is occupied. I feel alive right now. I'm restraining myself so I don't rip his clothes to shreds and take him right away. I want this to be perfect with him. And it will be. As long as he catches on, it'll be an incredible experience.

Hopefully, there are no interruptions.

His hands are at a gentlemanly position against my hips, but I feel the fingers digging in. I smirk against his mouth, pushing our bodies closer together. I feel his heart against my chest, and he pulls away to leave hard kisses down my neck. I throw my head back, humming in my throat.

I pull off the trench coat, giving me more layers to tear off. Top half first, bottom half second. I tease him with slow fingers. His heavy pants only excite me more. I pull him closer by the collar of his shirt. I sneak my fingers in, untucking his shirt.

I feel something against my thigh. Time to really kick it up. I'm patient and don't tear his shirt off, I gently get the buttons done as fast as I can. The shirt pools behind him, and my fingers discover new, fleshy territory. He's so warm.

After some heavy kissing, we're both catching our breath. I give Cas a gentle shove towards the bed, giving him a predatory look. I wink as I peel off my shirt, exposing my bra and rather fit new body. Cas looks taken aback and a little scared.

"Don't be afraid, Cassie," I croon. "It's okay. It's only me." I pull him down to kiss him hard. I guide his hands to feel my skin. He's trembling slightly. "Let it out, Cas." I look deep into his ocean eyes. "Let him come out, just for a little bit."

I'm surprised he listens so fast. I jump onto him, giving him no choice but to either catch me or drop me. He does the smart move of catching me. He goes back to my neck, which in turn I bite down on his shoulder when he hits a spot. My fingertips lightly dig into his shoulder blades.

He slowly backs up before he hits the edge of the bed. He sits down, allowing me to firmly sit on his lap. I run my fingers through his hair and mess it up. I tease him, ghosting my lips and fingers around him.

"Josette," he rasps. I'm torturing him with little love bites any place that gets a reaction out of him. "Josette, we—we need to stop."

I pull back, looping my arms around his neck. "What?"

"We can't."

I kiss him. "Sure we can. We can be quiet about it. What are you so scared of, Cas?" I resume keeping myself attached to him.

But Cas has other plans. He guides me away from him, and I have to adjust to stand on the floor, half naked in front of him. I grimace. He looks at me pleadingly. "I'm not scared."

"Then come on! You clearly want it!" I gesture to his manhood trying to break out of his pants.

"You're right, I do. Just...not from you."

I cock my head. "Come again?"

"Josette, we aren't in a position to do this."

"Oh, is it because you found someone else?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Let me guess, it's Hannah, isn't it?"

"No! I told you Hannah went back to Heaven." Cas groans. "I can't do this with you. Not while you're like this."

"Like how? Wanting you?"

"No, I mean...How you are now. You're different. You've changed. And I'm not sure I like it."

"Cas, the only thing that's changed about me is—is my body," I say. "That's all. I'm still me."

"I want to believe that."

"You didn't have a problem with this when you found out it was me! You have me back, Cas!"

"It's..."

"You don't want me? Is that it?" I don't feel embarrassed. I'm not sorry that I want Cas right now. I'm not sorry that I'm attracted to him and want to be intimate with him. In fact, I'm pissed that he's fighting the urge. An urge that his body is clearly telling him that it wants.

"You're not in a right state of mind for this." Cas says this carefully.

"What?" I fume. I approach him. "You're wanting to resist this opportunity?" I grab his hands, but he pulls them away. I glare coldly at him. Cas looks abashed. "Is it because of my body? I can't go back to my old one, Cas. Sorry to disappoint."

"It's not because of your body, Josette. It's because of what you've become. It's because of what's happened to you. I can't...do this when I know it wouldn't be the same if I were to do this with you back when you were...you."

I lick my lips. "Well, you know what, Cas? This is me now."

"Unfortunately, I know." Sullenly, he grabs what discarded clothing of his off the floor and slinks out of the room.

I lick my lips, rubbing my hair away from my face. I definitely wasn't expecting that to happen. 

**[has fans to cool the readers off]

Easy, you guys. Easy. And don't bite me for not letting Cassette have their way with each other.

Cas explained his reasoning. You guys agree with him?

Fun fact: I wanted to show Jo's more...I guess seductive is the word here...her seductive side. You can tell the differences between Human!Jo and Demon!Jo. Demon!Jo is things that Human!Jo wasn't.

Good or bad thing, though, is the question.**