The Sins of Regret

Chapter 11

Ross sat in his creative writing class, grungy and angry, writing down more quotes in his notebook, while the teacher gave out instructions.

"Ross," the teacher called out, "Please share your poem."

"I didn't write one," he replied.

"Oh, then do share what ever you have that you find so much more important than my class."

He closed the notebook, "You don't want to hear it."

"I'll be the judge of that. Go on."

Ross took a shaky breath, "The roses are wilted, the violets are dead, the demons run circles, round and round in my head... Don't be surprised when I disappear... When I do what they ask don't you dare act hurt, cause these demons of mine were there when you weren't... Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war, and I don't think I'm winning anymore."

"That is absolutely disgusting," The teacher spat, "I can't believe that you would joke about something like that. Especially, with what just happened. That's it. Get out of my class."

And he did. Eyes burning, heart aching, head pounding he left. And he kept writing quotes through second period.

When Ross got to math he walked directly to the teacher's desk, "Mr. Anne, I'm not feeling good, can I please leave."

The teacher got up and rubbed Ross' shoulders, "Of course, we need you in top shape. Feel better, Sport."

Next thing Ross knew he was sprinting home, and pulling out Bridget's box from under his bed.

Looking through it he noticed something he had avoided the last time he went through it.

He put the DVD in the player and watched as the screen showed lit up to an image of her. The fear and sorrow in her face made Ross want to cry, but still, he hit play.

"I don't even know why I'm doing this," She said, "No one cares, but if there's some psych class trying to show a real example of someone losing their mind then, hi. I really just can't do it anymore. I'm terrified to go home, but there is nowhere else for me to go because I'm bullied at school, all of the time. I'm bullied by strangers, I'm bullied by people who used to be my friends, I'm bullied by my best friend's girlfriend, I'm bullied by my ex, I'm even bullied by Mrs. Cultiva, And Mr. Swanson. I've reported it, but admin couldn't care less. And you know why should they. If it's gonna happen to anyone, why not me. I hate myself now, so yeah I can see why others do. Not everyone, though. I do have some friends, but they all had a different lunch period than me, so they couldn't really help. I just can't take the fear, and the loneliness, and the thoughts that my mind forces on me. To my friends, I'm so sorry, but I really do think that you'll all be fine. You just have to let yourself."

And the screen went black. The only sound to be hear was Ross' sobs, which echoed around the room.

Still crying he pulled his old notebook out of his bag and began to write.

~

Pinned down, Ross struggled, but the dark shroud enveloped him.

"Why do you fight me. We could be such a great team. Feed me, who was it that you ran into? Oh yes, send Trevor my way."

"Never," And he let the darkness take him.