A Kellic Love Story

Chapter 14

TRIGGER WARNING

Chapter 14

Vic's POV

Friday night and I'm at home getting drunk alone and crying. Mike's gone out with his friends and my mom's at her night job. I stole some alcohol out the liquor cabinet and I'm pouring down my throat. I have to forget. Because the more I think about Kellin and what happened between us the more I want to throw myself off a cliff. I'm already pretty drunk but I wanna get off my face and then I'm gonna cut and then I'm gonna stay up all night listening to music and wishing I was dead.

I downed the remainder of the bottle of vodka. It tasted disgusting but I didn't care. I don't deserve nice things anyway.

I'm a waste of human life. I claim to love Kellin yet I have a crush on Tyler. How can I have a crush on someone who said I don't deserve to be alive? Someone who got the whole school to hate me, someone who called me that fucking word? I know why though don't I. It's because despite everything Kellin, Mike and my mom tell me about how I'm worth it and deserve good things, I still can't accept it. I still feel that I don't deserve Kellin. I still hate myself. I'm still addicted to the pain and the misery. I want to suffer. I deserve to suffer. I want Tyler to hate me, to call me a faggot and push me up against a wall. I want him to hit me so I can feel the pain. I'm screwed up, I'm a fucked up troubled kid. I want to cut myself to see how much I bleed, to check if I'm really alive or dead, to feel the fucking pain. I want to die. I want to fucking die.

I took my phone out of my pocket. I was sobbing and could barely see but managed to write a text

Vic: I need you

I sent it to Kelliin and I sent it to Tyler. My phone buzzed

tyler:luv u

'Luv u'. I'm on the brink of suicide and you text me you love me like you actually mean it. You don't fucking love me. You think I'm 'cute', you want my body, you don't want my twisted mind and soul. You want me to have and to hold, but you can't deal with me in sickness. You can't deal with my twisted fucking soul and my broken mind

My phone buzzed again

Kellin: well I don't need you

That was it. I was done. I had nothing left. I was completely broken.

I got up off my bedroom floor and walked to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of my mom's medication.

I read the bottle:

Take one three times a day. WARNING DO NOT EXCEED THE PRESCRIBED DOSE. IN CASE OF OVERDOSE SEEK IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION AS CAN BE FATAL

I turned on the bathroom tap and let it run. I unscrewed the bottle cap. It had one of those protector child caps but that wasn't going to stop me. I poured out a handful of pills into my hand, put them in my mouth and drank some water to swallow it down. I repeated this process until the bottle was empty. I felt sick

I put the empty bottle back in the medicine cabinet and turned off the tap. I crawled back to my room, buried my head under the covers, and cried myself to sleep.