Becoming Ambellina

“Come on,” I groaned through clenched teeth, rifling through the dark cupboard. There has to be something in here! My stomach rumbled in agreement. I leaned in further, the counter groaning as I put nearly all my weight into it. Probing the depths of the cupboard on my tiptoes, my fingers finally closed around something nobody would notice. It wasn’t much, the heel of a loaf of bread.

 I wondered if there might be any lunchmeat in the fridge, it was only just across the kitchen.

My thoughts were interrupted when a floorboard creaked down the hall. I froze, clutching the stale bread. My heart hammered in my chest. Crap.  I could not get caught. I would not get caught! Almost silently I crept towards the doorway of the dark kitchen, glancing to the right towards the nearest exit and then left which would take me back to the dorms.

I thought of my options. I could run, but then surely I would be heard. The dark commercial sized kitchen proved to have many hiding places, but did I want to be hiding in here when they found me? I heard the jingling of keys. It had to be Blaine. My pulse quickened, I had to get out of here. If he found me anywhere out of my dorms at this time of night I would be punished for sure, unless he didn’t report it, and that’s when I really had to worry.

 My skin crawled as I remembered what happened the last time he found me. Fighting the urge to drop the measly chunk of bread and run like hell towards the nearest exit, I eyed a small doorway that appeared to be a linen closet across the hall.

My breath came out in shallow gasps that sounded much too loud. A door being shut snapped me into motion, and before I had made up my mind I was tiptoeing like a madman for the closet door. I glanced over my shoulder just as I tried the handle.

 I could hear footsteps drawing nearer. Or is it the beating of my heart and my blood roaring in my ears? Is there no one there at all and after too many years here I’ve just snapped?

The doorknob twisted in my hand mercifully as I saw the shadow of a man pass in the dim glow of the hall night light. The ‘closet’ was a joke. Shelves of stacked towels filled the top half and the bottom half was full of vacuums, mops, buckets, toilet paper, brooms, you name it. Fortunately it looked pretty deep, I was sure I could get behind these vacuums… I sort of shoved myself inside just enough so I could shut the door and listened silently for a moment.

 The footsteps sounded on the linoleum, slow and methodical. I reached up and locked the door. Chewing my lip I slid through the first set of vacuums. My toe bumped the edge of one of the hoses and it teetered dangerously. I snatched for it and managed to keep it from clattering to the floor. Unfortunately it still whacked against the wall and I cringed knowing Blaine had to be out there.

Was he within hearing distance? 

A lump rose in my throat and I set the bread down to clutch the key at my chest. I pulled the chain taut, testing its strength. I don’t know what it was made of but it had survived everything.  Blain was getting closer by the second; I had to get further into this closet! If he came across me in here at night when nobody would be down this hall… I shuddered at the thought. That man would never touch me again. I’d be 18 and out of this place in weeks, I only have to make it till then.

With one hand grasping the old battered key and one hand prodding through the darkness, I made my way further into the closet, cursing myself silently for being so effing hungry all the time.

 Blain’s footsteps were just outside now and I was almost out of sight, when I lost my balance and put my hand down quickly, right down onto a fluorescent light bulb. It popped and the glass sliced into my palm.  Silence deafened me as tears threatened to fall. My bleeding hand shook as I reached forward, crawling. My head hit the back of the closet with a thump. Panic rose in my throat and clenched at my gut. I could hear him just outside the door, the large ring of keys jingling. He was looking for the key to this closet. He knows I’m in here, and he’s coming for me.

 Something inside of me shattered just then as I crouched there clutching my key to my chest with shaking hands. Tears dropped freely from my chin and my long dark hair clung to the sweat on my face. My eyes had adjusted to the dark now and they darted back and forth, searching for an exit.

There was no way out.

 A key turned in the lock, but then voices sounded outside the door. I had another few seconds at least to try and hide myself. I could actually see pretty well in here. It almost seemed lighter. Confused, I turned towards the wall behind me and noticed a faint glow emanating from around the edges of what had to be another small door! Doubt flashed in the back of my mind, but I ignored it and dove for where the handle should be. Cold metal met my fingertips and the door gave way before me, sending me plummeting heels over head until  my feet hit the ground running.

If you could listen closely, at this very moment, you could almost hear my life twisting and turning on its axis, spiraling me into a whole new dimension.