Based on the passage Losing You by Lang Leav
One-Shot
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It had been three months since Louis left, and Harry still couldn't believe he was gone. Their argument had been intense, yelling, screaming, throwing things; Harry hadn't even bothered to clean up the broken lamp left on the floor. He felt like it was good symbolism, the lamp was broken, he was broken, it all made sense. Louis would have laughed if Harry had told him that, that he was comparing himself to a stupid lamp, but Louis wasn't here anymore, was he?
Harry had tried so hard to move on, he tried not to cringe when he picked up Louis' favorite blanket, or when he found yet another of Lou's sweaters in his closet shoved in the way back. But it was difficult, how could he not flinch? How could be not lose his breath? Louis had been everything, and it was hard to come back down after something so intense, so real, had been lost.
The argument was all Harry's fault, of course. Lou had to see Eleanor periodically, to keep up the semblance his heterosexuality to the press, but that didn't keep it from hurting. And that night, Louis had walked in smelling like her, her lipstick stained to his cheek, and it had hurt more than usual. Without realizing it Harry was being more moody, sort of rude, pushing Louis back when he wanted a kiss. All Louis had said was "What's wrong with you tonight, Haz?" and Harry had started crying. Started yelling about how difficult this life was on him, how he wished things could be easier. Louis was quiet, and it worried Harry, that he hadn't yelled back just yet. But when he spoke, it did more damage than the yelling would. "Are you saying you don't want us anymore?" he had asked.
And of course that hadn't been what Harry wanted, but he was angry, and he couldn't calm down, and so he said "I don't know Lou, is that what you're saying? Would you rather be with El?" And that was when Louis' real anger came out. The yelling, and the broken lamp, and the "YOU THINK THIS IS THE LIFE I WANT?". Until Harry had finally yelled for him to leave.
And so he did, he gathered what he needed, and walked right out the door. Leaving the broken Harry and the broken lamp.
They had seen each other since the incident, they had to. The band needed them, One Direction couldn't be One Direction without two of its members. But it had been hard, and once tour ended, they hadn't been anywhere near each other. Harry had seen the other boys, Niall, Zayn, Liam, but not Louis. Not his other half.
It was wearing on him, the distance, the lack of him. It was like he lost him over and over every day. Every hour. Every minute. And he could never get him back. Harry lost him when he woke up every morning-alone. He lost him when he made coffee for two, even though there was only one. Doing anything was losing him. So Harry sat alone in his flat, staring at the wall. Thinking of all of the ways he had lost him.
It had been three months since Louis left, and Harry knew he was never coming back.
