Across the Map

2. Liley

Why did they keep saying things like that to me? Why did I cut in? Why couldn't I have just let Caleb take it? I knew the answer to the last question already. Because you love him too much to let him get taken down. 

    I had always protected him from Lainey and Adam, even if he was two years older and could probably take the words better than I could. Why did my brother have to be so strong? He's always listened to my parents scream at him and call him stupid and miss his school events, yet he still keeps a straight face. I didn't get it. And he still called them mom and dad. What was with that? I stopped calling them that two years ago, when they started to threaten to throw me on the streets. But Caleb just keeps hoping; never wants to believe that our parents are truly gone for good. He was so naive it made we want to vomit up the food that I didn't get a chance to eat.

    But don't get me wrong, I love my brother, more than anyone in the world. If I had to choose between a prince and my brother, I would take Caleb anyday. The only thing I hated was my envy toward him, his strength, his personality, him in general. Why couldn't I just be more like him? I would never tell him I felt that way, though. Way too embarrassing. 

    I clutched Cuddles in my hands as I laid in Caleb's lap, sobbing. I didn't even know why I was sobbing. What Lainey had said wasn't that different from normal; ungrateful, a brat, that was all the usual for me. Why was this time so different from the last? I decided to consult in my brother.

    "Caleb?" I whispered. The crying had made my throat coarse, and now my voice sounded like I smoked three packs of cancer sticks a day. He looked down at me with his insane eyes. To me, they always looked caring and soft, but to others, even Caleb's nicest face looked like a death stare.

    "Yeah, Liles?" he answered.

    "Why don't we just leave them? Why can't we just pack everything up, run away, and move in with Aunt Bethany?" I knew Caleb didn't want to leave. He wanted to try to get our parents back. He wanted to help them get back to their old habits, like caring for us and treating each other like royalty. But Lainey and Adam were far too gone. Trying to help them was like trying to fix a phone that you threw in a deep fryer.  I saw no reason to try and fix something that is broken beyond repair. 

    "I couldn't do that to them, Liley. You know that".

    "Do what? If anything we'd be helping them. They'd be able to do whatever they want with no worries of us, and we'd be able to get out of here! It's foolproof". I looked up at him with my special Liley Amberson puppy dog face, trying to break through his rough looking exterior to make him listen to me. This look always worked, except for today, when it really counted.

    "I'm not leaving, Liley. I don't care what you say or what you do. I'm not giving up on them". His eyes went from beautiful, shiny water to hard, cold ice. My brother was putting them before me. It made me sick.

    "Fine." I replied, trying to sound as offended as I felt. I slid off his lap, still clutching Cuddles, and walked over to my own bed. I made sure I was facing away from him, to make him feel the isolation that he should from saying that to me. But after a while, I realised he hadn't tried to say anything else to me. The fake sadness that I made myself feel was now painfully real. I tried to sleep, to drown out the pain with unconsciousness, but I couldn't, because just as the room started to go dark, two strong arms picked my back off the bed and engulfed me in a hug.

    "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," Caleb said, his voice muffled by my shoulder, "You mean way more to me than they do. I don't know what I would've done with my life if I didn't have you here living it with me. Don't be mad at me for saying that. Please".

    I buried my face in his sleeve, trying to hide from the tidal wave of emotions that was attempting to drown me. "I wasn't mad at you. Just really sad that you basically said that they have done more for you than me. I mean seriously. Do you realise how many times I have gagged at the stench that is your laundry. No! And neither of them do either!" Caleb let out a soft laugh that seemed to lighten up the entire room.

    "I love you, Liles."

    "Love you, too, Cally." He pushed me out of the hug and gently threw me on the floor.

    "You know I hate that nickname." He said, trying to sound mad, but that was pretty hard considering the fact that he was stifling a laugh.

    "I do. And that's why I use it so much". We both started laughing hysterically, do much that Caleb wound up falling on the floor with me. The laughter seemed like it would never stop, but out of nowhere, a thundering boom shook the house to its core and Lainey's shrill, loud voice took the place of the peacefulness that was there a second ago.

    I looked over at my brother, his face as white as our unpainted walls. I knew that I probably looked the same.

    "Night." he said out of nowhere, scrambling from the floor and into his bed. I did the same.

    "Night". But there was no sleep to be had, for the shrieks of the furious adults would last all night long.