She Was Slowy Killing Herself

Decided to make it a story ill try upload as much as can please vote if you like it and comment it please feedback is apperciated thank you

Hope you enjoy the story

I know it may need some work but please stay with me will edited towards the end and will get better

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Had it all two parents who loved eachother and loved me or so i thought they did. Before everything happened I was a normal teenager got pretty decent grades wasn't really much of a trouble marker and most important of all I use to be "happy" notice how I said use to as in I'm never really happy anymore. It all started when one day my mom was no longer there when coming back from school noticed my father was acting different and not him self. I asked, "dad what's wrong?" An all he said was,"she's gone!!" Looking around the room I started to realize what he truly meant my mom the one who was my best friend one I could go tell anything to was gone as in gone for good. With no note or as in where has she gone and that made me wonder,why would she do that didn't she love us or did she? That means she abandoned me left me I just couldn't believe it.

After that day I was never truly myself anymore started acting different especially my father he changed in ways I thought would never see him like that he's become an alcoholic an abuser. That's when it started my cutting it was just to much for that I turned to a blade to solve and cure my problems. Little did I know that it was addicting had my cutting episodes every now an then. As of recently through my cutting episodes have became everyday now no thanks to my abusive father. Cutting for me was my outlet to release the pain and sadness I had in me. It makes me feel so alive and good while it last but knowing this I know should stop right? Wrong just can't stop not just yet it's my drug but better then that.

Having so much pain bottled up inside me made want that blade even more now.My mother being gone my deadbeat abusive father all this pain of rejection. Couldn't take no more so I took my ways to cutting the way I knew I could release all this pain and sadness. I missed my mom so much the way that I wouldn't think of her was by cutting and cutting in deeper each time. I looked at my scars I was in disbelief I did this to my own self. I knew why those where there for a reason. The days had gone by without me actually cutting myself.

Slit. Slit. Slit. Slit. Is all I could hear cutting four lines on my arms an seeing all the scarlet bright red blood dripping down my right arm felt so good. Wanted more and more didn't care if went to deep just wanted to feel that cold blade against my pale skin an see that scarlet bright red blood drip down once more just to feel satisfied.After finishing up made me a little promise not to cut again not to do it at least for a day or two.But it all started again when my deadbeat abusive father came home drunk and beating me for hours on end. I was hurting so much that need to let it out almost cut so deep I was losing consciousness of my surroundings.

That night I layed in bed cryed myself to sleep. Woke up that morning feeling the need to do it again. So I did started again slit, slit, slit, slit, slit, slit,cutting myself more then I usually do in a day. The cuts were deep and long would see my scarlet bright red blood drip down my leg not caring for how much blood I lost as along as I had release my pain. At school people staredby the way I dressed long sleeve shirt not knowing what was behind this. Knew my scars had to be hidden from the eyes of the people. Couldn't take no more abusive words they were like deep cut wounds in my skin.As time went on my cutting progressed more and more worse. Would use a sharp blade or sharp glass to cut and release everything bottled up inside me.

Knew need help but "who can help me?" ,I asked myself.''no one thats who'', I said.Its just me dealing with this alone because my bestfriend left.Next day at school had skiped class and went staright to the restroom started again slicing my skin open again.Feeling the warm scarlet bright red blood streaming down my arm.''I need that release" , I said.The bell had rang meaning time to go home "I hated home", I

said.Good thing he wasn't home didn't have to face him again.