Testing the waters

Background

Being black shouldn't hinder me of being able to do what a white man can. Unfortunately the society we live in has made it to where everything is divided and everyone is judged and held down to stereotypes. The many stereotypes of black people come from an ignorant white man who has only come in contact with a few black people and thought he knew the whole race. Well I remember my mom taking me to swim lessons as a kid because she couldn't swim...yet another stereotype. She took me there and I remember my coach telling me "Nia if you don't test the waters how else are you gonna learn?" He was right if I didn't touch the water how was I gonna learn to swim. In this society we live in you either test the waters and swim or become a stereotype and sink.

As you can tell my name is Nia and I'm 23 years old. The struggle of being a black women is tough and even harder on me because I'm not completely black. I'm black and white. I'm not black enough for the black girls but I'm not white enough for the white people. My parents always told me that I was unique and my time to fit in and belong would come. But the older I got the more I found out that I didn't exactly want to fit in anymore I enjoyed standing out I enjoyed being different which is why my career was perfect. I am a celebrity fashion designer and my creative thinking supplies me with more than enough money to live off of. I may not be completely white but I have white peoples money!

Not too long after I was born my parents started having differences in opinions which later on caused their divorce. My father (Kevin) went on to marry someone else (Karen) and have another child. My mother did move on but it was no use her heart was set on one person and she later on passed away with a broken heart. My dad had another little girl named Yasmine who now is 20 and has a seven year old daughter. My niece Jasmine is my everything if I could babysit her everyday I would but she does have to go back with her parents.my little sister is married to a wonderful man named James and their family is basically GOALS!!

Though I am confident with who I am and it's very little I'm scared of my insecurities sometimes get the best of me and I have to take a moment to sit down and realize that I'm this way for a reason. The relationship aspect of my life is basically non existent I got to work and I come home to my two bedroom condo. I don't usually have company over unless it's my sister and her family or my co worker Tisha. Other than that I'm pretty much living alone trying to defy and break these stereotypes of black women. The only thing I'm really missing is my  other half my partner my spouse. Yes I live my space but I also would like to have a man on my arm supporting me. Don't get me wrong I don't need but I so badly want him. I guess it's time I test my waters again and see where it gets me.