Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

✗ six ✗

SHAY

6 May

It's been a week and a half since I returned home. A week and a half since I've seen my parents. A week and a half since I've accepted a ride from Harry. A week and a half since I've allowed Harry into my home, or any other person, or allowed myself to try and be normal again.

It's been one of the worst week and a halves I have ever had in the entirety of my life. I do nothing but wallow in self-pity, cry, avoid food, and try to sleep. Originally I was only going to take those few days off for myself and then I was going to return to work with a fake smile on my face ready to do my job. But four days in I realized that I needed more time.

Day 1 had been filled with me lying in bed the entire day, crying my eyes out and eating an entire tub of ice cream. I had also decided that school was not a top priority anymore. I couldn't be bothered with nosy professors and annoying students. I had zero interactions with persons outside of my home, aside from the phone call I received from the hospital. Apparently, my doctor wanted to check up on how I was doing, as well as ask me to come in for an appointment in two weeks. I was reluctant to answer but said yes on account that she would hang up soon after. I had received a phone call from Harry as well, asking how I was doing. Of course I didn't answer and ended up texting him some bullshit lie to get him off my back.

Day 2 was spent in bed, staying there until I nearly peed myself or until I felt like I was going to pass out from not eating anything. I also skipped school that day. I had forced some fruit into my system and took an hour-long shower. The shower was mainly spent scrubbing my body until it was raw and then sitting on the floor and crying for the remainder. Then I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling and trying to keep myself from having a mental breakdown.

Every time I close my damn eyes I saw the man again. The man that did this to me broke me and created this circle of fear I now have. So I avoided sleep on the second day into the third.

On day 3 I decided enough was enough. I got myself out of bed after about an hour of peaceful sleep until the monsters awoke me and I ended up taking a thirty-minute shower. I ate a normal breakfast, toast with jam and surprisingly kept it down until around noon. I even got dressed in normal people clothes, which consisted of my favorite pair of jeans and some random shirt I found hidden away in my wardrobe. I grabbed my handbag and jacket hoping to get some shopping out of the way before nightfall.

I only made it three steps out my door before breaking into a panicked rage and locking myself back into my house. That day I decided that my groceries were going to be delivered and I was going to avoid uni for the rest of the week.

Day 4 I received my next call from Harry, once again asking the same question. This time I had answered, assuring him that I was going to come into work the next day. The next day would have been a Saturday, but Harry still would've been there knowing him. He told me that it was a weekend and that no one was going to be there, then I assured him I was still going to show. Working weekends is very therapeutic being that there are only like two of us in the entire building aside from security.