Meeting My Idol- JackSepticEye

The Ending

A/N: Well this is the end! Thank you so much to anyone who read this, left comments, or Kudos.

November 23rd

I haven't written like I planned on it. I haven't been writing about chemo or how miserable I have been feeling. It would have gotten old for me real quick.

Nausea

Vomiting

Exhausted and fatigue all the fucking time. I am so sick of it.

One more week and I am done with chemo. Then we will x-ray me and see where I am.

I am freaked out. Incredibly freaked out. I have been doing my best to not lose my mind.

My family has been great. If I could I would just lock myself in my room, and watch videos, but my family only lets me do that some of the time. I am glad my family has really helped me through it.

I am too tired to keep writing. I'll write more later.

November 25th

Jack responded to me.

Hi Tessa:

Thank you so much for your letter. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have such great viewers like you that come all the way to conventions to meet me. Thank you so much.

I am sorry to hear that you have cancer. I can't tell you how things are going to turn out for you, but I want you to know that I care about you, and whatever happens, even if you think that the things you have accomplished so far hasn't mattered to anyone, they have. Whatever you have done, you have met someone or have done something for someone, and it mattered to them. We all do things that matter more to people than we can ever imagine.

If you want to accomplish more things. If you want to climb a mountain, write a book, or perform surgeries (please get a license first though), I believe in you. It's cheesy, but it's true. You are capable and talented. Even if you haven't discovered it yet, you are talented.

Thank you so much Tessa. I hope meeting me was worth it. I am always sad that I can't talk to you all for longer, but I am glad that you were able to make it in line.

Yours Truly:

Jackaboy J

I still feel like Hell. I still feel terrible, but he responded to me, and he believes in me. How do I describe how that feels in words?

Almost a year later

Octotober 10th

It's been a year. A year since I started treatment. Since I started losing my hair. Since I started vomiting every morning. And feeling sick all of the time. I didn't write about that like I was planning on it. Every time I started to, I realized that the whole diary would have been the same thing over and over. Then again, maybe I should have done it. It's supposed to be therapeutic.

Cancer wrecked my body. I can't put into words how terrible it was to me, and how there were days that I wanted to stay in my room and watch youtube videos all day and not think about anything else. Honestly, there were days that I did do that. They helped keep me sane. But other days, I forced myself up, and I would do my best to go for a walk if I was physically able. I was able to take off from work, and I even started to write a little like I have always tried to do. Honestly, it was crap, but I at least got something down.

It can always come back. It just can. That's something that I will have to learn to live with.

The good news is that I have more time now to be with my family, and to do whatever I want to do with this planet. That is, if I can ever figure out what I want to do with my life.