disorders ✦ a.i

disorders → blurb

orenda at the top.

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trichotillomania (orenda's disorder) -

a disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out body hair (such as hair from the scalp, eyebrows or other places on the body).

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It started when I was ten years old. The frustration, the hair pulling out. It's ironic because, literally, I yanked out my own hair.

I hadn't known about it at the time - due to having no knowledge toward the subject and being oblivious to the condition and its side effects - but I had been diagnosed with a disorder called trichotillomania.

Distinctively, it was a pain; but I couldn't help it. The constant urge to pull out my hair pestered me non-stop, and no matter how much I have tried to refrain myself from it, it would only worsen things.

It soon became a daily thing, and I found myself yanking a chunk out nearly every two-to-three hours.

Even when I wouldn't get my way - which was very often since I was young and stubborn and I wanted everything I couldn't have - I would tug at my hair as it being an alternative.

And, repetitively, it would go something like this:

I would throw something like a tantrum, screaming and screeching and dropping myself onto the floor, proceeding to pound my fists and kicking my feet wildly at the air. Meanwhile, my mother would grasp my arm tightly, picking me up in a harsh manner, clearly angered and frustrated at the way I would act, and she would drag me to my bedroom while I screamed protests through violent sobs.

She would then give me a "serious talk", her words piercing my ears with each one that would slip from her mouth, and she would speak with her voice raised, lecturing me about how I shouldn't act.

Afterwards, my mother would slap her hand across my bum and send me to bed without another word, leaving my bedroom and closing the door not-so-quietly behind her. Then, I would be left alone.

And that is where it begins.

I would continue to fuss and throw my antic, overly dramatic fit, grasping fisfuls of my shoulder-lengthed frizzy black hair, tugging and yanking and pulling until, eventually, bundled strands would be removed from my scalp.

Blinking through tear-coated eyes, the remnants of the pure salty liquid would inch down my reddened cheeks as my emotions vansquished me.

I would let my vision clear up before glancing down at the matted strands of dead hair resting in my hands, feeling but a pang of regret at the horrendous actions I commited.

And I would think and think, questioning why I commited such a envious act toward myself, harming my body in such a way, as I let a few more tears of shame and anguish roll supinely down my dampened cheeks.

That was just one of the many ways the act would play out. Although I no longer throw fits such as those now, I continue to yank and yank out more of a distasteful amount of hair.

And I cannot, for a well-known fact, control my actions - no matter how hard I try.

I need help.

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ok so that was the blurb/prologue/intro type thing and it's sort just giving a little look at what orenda experiences having her disorder.

ashton's character will arrive in this book soon, btw, but im just trying to build suspense before he pops into it.

im just letting you all know that this is purely fictional (but) the conditions/disorders displayed in this book are real-life cases, and these cases affect a majority of people each & everyday - sadly.

just letting you all know, im trying my hardest at collecting all information for each of the disorders in this book (&) i apologize if i get any characteristics wrong, because i dont really know about these things. but, like i said, im trying my hardest.

anyway, thank you all so much for clicking on this book & reading. i would really appreciate all the feedback & such! :-)

thank you all so much & please dont be a ghost reader; i love hearing your opinions & receiving feedback! <3

- amber xoxo