Big Bird (Her Effect One Shot Contest Entry)

One Shot

well, here lies the short story for Chingyonce 's contest. i apologize for the writing if it sucks. bless your eyeballs.

(mainly assassin harry since i wanted to try something new)

*

I busted into the club, strutting my legs as everyone looked up from their drinks and gawked at me.

Hell yeah, I am in a big bird costume. And I'm proud.

No one's eyes left my gorgeous 'body', so I decided to give them a little show.

I slowly took the pen out of my pocket and dropped it to the floor. I bent down and picked that shit up in the most dramatic way, squatting and sticking my fluffy ass out.

I wiggled my eyebrows and approached Billy, the security guard.

"Ayyyyyyyye wassup Bill-Will? You good on this fine night?" I smiled innocently, hinting at my costume while patting his shoulder.

"I told you this a million times, don't fucking touch me. Get out of that damn costume too. I swear, every time you enter this damn club you're dressed like a fucking crazed bitch. So I recommend you to get the fuck away from me. I'm not in the mood today." Billy said without even glancing at me, as I looked at him with my double chin fully out and held a pained expression.

"Someone's on their man period..." I trailed off, poking him on the back of his shiny bald head and slowly backing away. That little bitch I swear.

He knows he loves me though, ha.

I mean, I love me, so that means he loves me. Simple logic.

I stripped out of my favorite costume in the middle of the club, no fucks being given. Under it I had my sweater that I got at the thrift store, because honestly, I'm broke as fuck, so ya know, I can't afford expensive shit.

I plopped down in the nearest chair, deciding that I've done my daily exercise by just trying to get out of that costume.

I felt my belly slowly form into their rolls as I hunched my back, sighing as I played with the fat rolls since I had nothing better to do.

I come to this night club every Friday night, mainly just to bother ma boy Bill-Will.

Getting up, I made my way to the bar where there was this steamy ass motherfucker with two other steamy ass motherfuckers.

The closer I got, the similar they all looked.

Holy shit, are these motherfuckers triplets?

Making a noise of approval, I tip-toed my way over to the bar, sitting very closely to the one with a bandana on his head.

He still didn't notice me, in fact not one of them did.

Sighing, I wiggled in my seat and made a groan of disapproval, but nonetheless turned to the guy working and asked for any drink they got.

Taking one last glance at the men, I turned back to the table and tried to be like one of those bitches who can swallow their drink in one gulp.

Not a good fucking idea, I'll tell you that.

When I thought I accomplished the task, I started choking on my own fucking saliva.