Was falling really the worst part? I mean like wasn't the worst part the part where I get a scab on my knee or elbow? Or the part when blood would run down after the fresh cut was made? If that was the worst then what was the best? When my friends acted like they cared just cos I fell and cut myself. Well as I found out the cuts appear more on purpose my friends tent to cared less and less. Each time the bandage becomes bigger the more invisible it becomes. So by the time it's summer and my arms are covered with bandages and I can't join my "friends" in the pool, only then will they ask why I have the bandages coving my arms, but they won't as,a thing more than "why can't you just take them off and swim with us?" They won't ask why I wear them or what's under them, just why can't I take them off. I guess saying I cut myself sounds better than saying I do do drugs or dink. Who am I kidding? It sounds just as bad. Never have I felt more alone when i m surrounded by more people. The more people that crowd around to watch and stare the smaller I feel, the more alone I become... The taller my heels are the longer the night it. the more people I talk to, the more I drink. The longer I sleep that morning, and when I wake up I feel less and less awake and aware. The more panadol I take to try and get rid of the bigger and bigger headaches. The more dazed I become, the more I sit and stare out my window and watch the world walk by me... The more I think the more I realise that panadol won't take the pain away, no matter how much I wish it would. Nothing cures grief. Nothing like the dream do at night. They are the closest I come to seeing her again. The thought of being able to touch her hand let anyone the hug here again, but it will never happen. She is gone and she is never coming back.
