"Becks!" I hear Blair calling me from across the dressing room. "What?" I call back without looking up from fastening the straps on my character shoes. "Look at me," she says. I lift my head, and she jerks her head towards the doorway behind me. I stand up and turn around. My heart jumps into my throat, but I keep my cool. Walking past the open door is my crush, Tyler. With him are his cousin Connor and their friend, Zach. Connor notices me standing in the doorway and smiles like he's never been happier to see anyone in his entire life, then beckons me over. I smile back, not quite as wholeheartedly and hold up a finger to say "one minute." He nods and follows Tyler and Zach to the desk. I shoot a look at Blair saying "hurry up. I'll need backup," then turn and start to walk out the door. I'm not paying attention, though, and I run into someone. "Oof," she says. I recognize the voice instantly. "Sorry, Becca." I say. "Didn't see you there." "I didn't expect you to," she says mischievously. "After all, I know who just walked by." "Conclusi!" I hiss in Latin--which in English means "shut up!" Becca and Blair are the only people who know about my crush on Tyler. (Oh, yeah, I don't know if I clarified this, but Becca and I have the same name. To avoid confusion most people call me Bec or Becks.) I glance around, making sure no one heard her comment. Nobody's paying us any attention, so I figure we're safe. I grab my water bottle out of the mini fridge, then take a deep breath before walking out into the lobby. Almost immediately Connor spots me and calls my name. "Hey, Becks!" He says cheerfully. A little too cheerfully. Becca is convinced he has a crush on me, but I'm not so sure. After all, who'd think I was pretty, or smart in a good way? Most people tell me I'm annoying and that I use too many "big words," like obscure and confiscate. Those are everyday words for me. I guess that's what happens when your mom taught college English classes before you were born. "Hi Connor," I say without enthusiasm. I could fake it, but I'm not a very good actress. I can act through my body, not my voice. "Hi Zach, Tyler." I add, pretending I can't feel the tingles running up my spine as I say Tyler's name. "Hey Becca," says Zach. He never remembers which Becca goes by our full name and which goes by the nicknames, although you would've thought that since Connor just called me Becks he'd know. "Hi Bec," says Tyler. It feels like my stomach is full of writhing snakes. I'm always acting around Tyler, keeping my cool, as I call it. I have no idea if he likes me back or not, but eight months ago Blair and I got him to confess that he liked Evelyn. It's been eight months, so it's possible that crush is over, but I think it's unlikely. Evelyn is something of a maneater; she leads boys on without quite realizing it, then when she notices that they like her she doesn't put them out of their misery, she just pretends she doesn't know. "Earth to Becca!" Zach waves his hand in front of my face. "What?!" I say with a start. I always seem to tune out when Tyler's around. "I was just asking which of us is the best at waltzing," Zach says, giving me a look full of his annoying five year old spirit. Luckily, just then Blair and Becca appear next to me. "You're asking her?" Blair says incredulously. "She's only waltzed with you once, Zach, and several times with Tyler, and not at all with Connor. That's hardly a fair question." Thank you, I say to Blair with my eyes. She winks at me, then goes back to tormenting the guys.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
After rehearsal I head back to the dressing room to change and gather up my stuff. I check my phone and there's a text from my dad, who's running late as usual. It says 5 minutes, which means I have 15-20 before he gets here. Becca, who drove herself, offers to wait with me and I accept. With best friends there's no point in saying "if you want to..." If I said no she would've stayed anyway, unless she had somewhere to be. We grab our bags and go to wait at the top of the stairs. I turn the corner, and feel my stomach turn too. Tyler's standing a few feet in front of me, his back to me, talking to Hannah and Tessa. Connor and Zach are here too, of course. And of course, Connor is the first one to see me and Becca. "Hey, Beccas!" He says. Most people get a kick out of the fact that we have the same name. We walk over and join the clump. At the last second Becca nudges me over to her other side so I'm next to Tyler. I can't breathe, I'm so nervous that I'll say or do something stupid. Tyler nods at us, then continues his conversation. I turn and give Becca a look that says "thanks for nothing." She just smiles like "wait for it." I sigh in annoyance. Hannah's phone goes off, and she says "I'm outta here. See you Monday, Becks. Next Saturday for the rest of you." She turns and runs down the stairs. Tessa takes advantage of the pause and starts flirting with all three guys at once. Tessa is definitely not one of my favorite people. She never knows when to shut up, and she's a total flirt and has a very annoying personality. I pretend she's my friend just so things don't get awkward in rehearsal, but honestly I'd rather never see her again. What makes it worse is that she's paired with Tyler in party scene, so I get to watch them flirt while I suffer through Zach. Becca seems to sense that I'm feeling down and takes control of the conversation. "Hey Tyler," she says, interrupting Tessa. "Can you go double check what time rehearsal is next week? I can't remember." Normally Tyler would respond with a snarky remark about how he's not Becca's servant, but I think Tessa's endless flirting is getting on his nerves. "Sure, where's the schedule?" He asks. "Bec will show you," says Becca, her eyes glinting at me. I stifle a protest, glaring at her as I follow Tyler back into the lobby. She's going to get it later, interfering with me and Tyler. As far as I know he has no idea that I like him. I take the lead once we're through the double doors leading to the lobby and head towards one of the bulletin boards. Running my finger down the rehearsal times for next week, I find party scene, and turn around saying "it's from 5-6:30" only to find myself face to face with Tyler. I freeze in shock, until he grabs my wrist and pulls me towards the locker room. I follow, stumbling, wondering what in the world is going on. We pass through the door and end up in the empty locker room, face to face. I'm still in shock. He looks at me for a second, then puts his hands on my shoulders and leans in. My heart is pounding so loudly I'm sure he can hear it. His lips meet mine. My first kiss. With my crush. Never in a million years could I have hoped for this. I suddenly realize I'm standing here like an unresponsive idiot, and he's about to pull away. I force myself to move and kiss him back with all my might. He steps in closer instead of moving away. My hands go to the back of his neck. I'm not quite sure what to do, but he seems to know what he's doing and his calm steadiness reassures me. After several long moments, we break apart. I smile hesitantly at him, and when he smiles back I lose the hesitancy. Suddenly I remember. "Becca," I say. "What?" He says in surprise. I laugh. "Becca's waiting for us. She may guess what happened but the others won't know." "Oh. Right." He says, sounding disappointed. I guess at his reason for being sad, and step in to kiss him again. A much quicker one this time, but he's smiling when I pull away. "Let's go," I say, taking his hand and pulling him out of the locker room. I seem to have lost all the shy and awkward feelings I had around him. We thread our way through the people milling around the lobby and make it back to the top of the stairs. I see several raised eyebrows from people when they see our clasped hands but before anyone can say anything I say "rehearsal is from 5-6:30 next week, Becca." She's smiling triumphantly. "Thanks, you guys." That can't be it. Sure enough, she gives me a look that says "we are SO going to talk about this" and I nod. I wouldn't expect anything less. But for now, I turn away from her and look into Tyler's eyes. He untangles his hand from mine so he can wrap his arm around me, and leans down to kiss the top of my head. I happen to glance at Tessa, and the look on her face is so shocked I almost burst into laughter. Life is good.