Snapchat : Matt x Neil || ☑️

Chapter 16: Help Me

A/N: In this book, Brad has low self esteem. He's depressed, and cuts, as well as purges. He also does drugs, and is under weight. This chapter is depressing, and has self harm, drugs, as well as talking about suicide. I imagine Brad as my baby, and me as Adam. . If this is triggering, please don't read. I am here for all of you, if you need it. You don't need to suffer alone. I love you all. Please don't hesitate to get help, because I know what it is like.

Also, partial sexual content, so please don't read it, if it makes you uncomfortable.

Adam's POV

"What happened?" I ask, and Brad looks up at me, with a frown.

"Matt got a boyfriend, and now he won't hang out with me like usual. Like, I like his boyfriend - he's a nice guy, and he's sexy like you. . But Matt won't hang out with me as much." Brad says, and leans into my chest.

I wrap my arms around him, and kiss his head. "I think you should talk to him." I say, and he looks up at me. "He probably feels that you don't want to hang with him, because you're always over here. Tomorrow, you and Matt can hang out, and I can hang out with Matt's boyfriend."

Brad gives me a look, an all familiar look as I lay down on the bed.

"I'm not going to cheat on you with him." I say, and he sighs.

"He's so much better than me, Adam. He's not addicted to anything like me. He's not fucked up, either. He's hilarious, hot, kind. . skinny, he has muscles, happy, smart, loved, and he's good enough. He's confident. . I'm not. He's strong, and I'm weak. He's everything I'm not, and what I strive to be. I won't blame you, if you cheat on me with him. ." Brad says, and wraps his arms around himself.

"Baby, do you really think of yourself like that? You are perfect to me. No matter how many times I tell you, you still don't believe me. You're addicted to drugs and self harm, so what? You're trying to get clean, and that's all that matters. It hurts me to say this, but you are fucked up, but I love you. You are unique. I will always love you, even if you are square, a triangle, fucking purple, or blue. You always make me laugh. You make me laugh until it physically hurts. You are hilarious. You're hot, sexy, adorable, beautiful, wonderful, anything you want to be.

I am not lying to you, Bradley. I am fucking serious. Brad, you are skinny. You're not fat. I don't know what's wrong with you, because you are underweight. You are not fat. Baby, I don't care if you have muscles or not. You may not be happy, but I'm trying my best to make you happy. You're depressed, but I still love you. I want to help you. You are loved. By me, Matt, Neil, your friends, family and parents. You're good enough, and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise." I say, and take a deep breath.

"So what if you aren't confident? I really don't care. You're perfect to me. You are strong, because you've gone another day. You've made it through everything, and yet, you are still here. That makes you strong. I would never cheat on you with anyone. I love you way too much." I tell him, and wrap my arms around him from behind. I lift him up, and set him on top of me. He turns around, and looks down at me.

"I'ts not true. I'm sorry." He says, and gives me a kiss. Tears run down his face, as he climbs off of me, and runs down the hall. I hear a door slam, and click.

"Brad!" I shout, as I throw myself off the bed. I roll over on the ground, and get up. "Brad, don't!"

I run towards the bathroom door, and twist the door knob. It doesn't budge, and I slam my fists on the door. "Brad, please!" I shout, and I hear him start to sob. I hear him hiss, and something hits the floor with a clattering noise. "Brad!!" Tears form in my eyes, as I push against the door.