Scars

My names Samantha, I’m a typical teenage girl who loves to go shopping and talk about boy’s non stop. Except, I started cutting ever since highschool,I was depressed over all the fights I was having with my friends and I was in so much pain everyday, but no one cared about me ,my friends hated me since they always bitch about me when were  in fights. I tried to hide my cuts from everyone at school but as soon as they heard I self harm myself, they started to tease, bully me and even make up rumours that I did it for attention. Everyday in school got worse and worse, it felt like everyone in the world hated me, I haven’t told anyone about this, not even my parents because I don’t trust anyone the way I’m going now. The only person who keeps me happy is my best friend Liam, I’ve known him since we were little kids. I still can’t find the courage to tell him, I don’t know how he would react and I wouldn’t want to loose my only good friend.

Liam is such a sweet friend though, he cares for me and still texts or Skype’s me while his busy or on tour. The only thing is that, he never asks me about my life, thinking his known me for how long now he would know a lot about me but I guess he has been busy with the tour going on and interviews for the band. I literally don’t know where I would be without him, its just I do trust him and I do want to tell him about my self harming ,I’m scared he will react bad and leave me.

It was 11:30am, 30 more minutes and Liam will be here to pick me up to go to Luna Park. I haven’t seen him since he came back from the ‘Take Me Home’ tour, which was a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t realty been talking to him a lot, I’ve been too busy in collage studying physics, to be honest I am overwhelmed school is over, that was like living in hell. I got changed into my denim shorts and a loose shirt since it was pretty warm outside and got my bag waiting for my best friend to arrive.

*ring ring* I literally jumped on top of my phone, ‘sorry I’m running late, the boys kept me back,im only a few seconds away,cya soon x’  typical Liam, always running late, I smile to myself and sit on the couch. Just as I was about to turn on the TV, I hear a knock at the door. “I’m coming now!” I say, Liam was standing in my hall way smiling like an idiot, “I’ve missed you so much Sam, how have things been?” he said bear hugging me. I can smell his cologne on his t-shirt, I didn’t notice how much I missed his hugs when I last saw him. “I’ve been good thanks and what is this in your hand?” I say pointing to a box he is holding. He blushes and opens it up, I couldn’t believe he would do this for me, “I wanted to give you a little gift I saw at the jewellery store the other day, because I knew you would love it” he puts it on my neck and grabs my hand “thank you so much Liam, you’re the sweetest friend ever” I say while we walk to his car, he offers me to go in first and says “your welcome babe”. I don’t stop looking at the gift he gave me the whole car trip, it’s so pretty, it’s a love heart necklace with my name engraved on it, He such a good friend.

We finally reach Luna Park, I’ve never more nervous in my life, the rides look really scary and I hate roller coasters. We enter the huge place and fans spot Liam and start talking to him, I pay for the tickets, I don’t want the fans to have hate on me so I just leave him alone until his done. The lady gives me two wrist bands and I sit down admiring the rides around me, “There you are, why didn’t you come and say hello?” I look at the ground lost what to say “um well, I wanted to buy the tickets for us” “ oh that’s fine I could have payed, well, lets go on some rides then, shall we?” I nod my head and we go on a ride called ‘the spider’. After going on about 8 rides, I sit down since my legs start to hurt from all the walking, Liam sits next to me “aww is little Sammy tired?” I punch him in the arm playfully, he says “well if you’re tired we could go on the Ferris wheel since it’s really slow and calm”. I nod in agreement.

We wait in the line and it doesn’t take long before we have to go on, he offers me to go first and helps me up onto the carriage seat. We eventually end up at the top of the Ferris wheel “you know I hate heights” I say to him, he grabs my hand and says “aww, don’t worry I’m always here”, this was the perfect time to tell him about my self harming. No one was around just me and him. I breathe in deeply and look him in the eyes “Liam I have to tell you something” he squeezes my hand even tighter “okay, go on love”. “This is going to be really hard to say but-“before I could say the next word he kisses me, I push him away quickly “what are you doing Liam” I say to him confused, I didn’t let him answer and luckily it was time to get off so I run away quickly before he could stop me.

I question in my head what just happened, my best friend just kissed me, why would he do that, how could he ruin our friendship, his sweet and all, but I would never date him, that would just be too awkward to deal with. Besides I wasn’t even going to tell him anything got to do with that, I definitely can’t tell him about my cuts now and I don’t want to talk to him at the moment, well not for a while. Its been a week and I get calls and texts from him saying his sorry and he didn’t know what he was doing but of course I ignore them, it hurts me, his been there for me forever and ignoring him is the worst thing but I have to think for a bit. I start to cry because I knew I shouldn’t of gone to Luna park with him knowing he would do that, I shouldn’t of even thought of even telling him about my personal life business, his a pop star why would he care anyways. I can’t do this anymore, I get out a small blade for my desk and cut through my skin, blood pours out everywhere, I can feel the pain rush through my body but I don’t care its better than being sad endlessly, I suddenly feel light headed and fall to the ground.

“Samantha are you okay? Please wake up!” I open my eyes and see Liam in front of me. I jump “w-w-what are you doing here?” I say, he helps me up and says “I wanted to talk to you, so I came over your house worried, because you wouldn’t answer my calls or texts and your mum let me in and then I see you on the ground, what happened are you okay?” we both sit down on my bed, I take a deep breathe in and say “the reason I was on the floor was because I cut myself from depression, please don’t leave me”. I knew this would happen he just froze and kept looking at the ground, I know he will run away and never talk to me again, that’s what all my other so called “good friends” did back in high school.” Liam” I say and slap him in the face lightly.

He looks up at me and hugs me tight, he doesn’t say anything he just hugs me and kisses my wrists, where the cuts are. I could see tears in his eyes “Your beautiful and such a amazing girl how could you do this to yourself” I sigh and say “I used to get bullied in school and since then I’ve still been doing it whenever I feel upset about something, it takes away all my pain” I cant hold it in anymore, I start to cry, he moves closer to me and hugs me to calm me down. “Sam, I am so sorry, I didn’t know you would do this, I am always here for you no matter what I would never leave you because I can help you to stop cutting yourself”. “Please don’t do this anymore, you’re too beautiful for that”. I let go of the blade and chuck it in the bin, "it’s been years since I wanted to do that,thank you so much Liam” I say and hug him tight.