The Empty Side of the Bed [SOONHOON] #Wattys2016

[1] O N E.

For Whose Good?

It had been a whole week since Jihoon started to cage himself in his flat. This meant that it was a whole week since he broke up with Soonyoung and for some reason, Jihoon couldn't help but to think of his ex-lover.

For the past week, Jihoon spent his days cooped up in his room, staring at the mixtapes and vinyls gifted to him from Soonyoung.

"Let's break up... It's for our own good..." Jihoon recalls.

But as he stared at the only physical memories left of Soonyoung, he started to doubt his own words. Breaking up was never any good and Jihoon knew that... But why, he wonders to himself, why did he do it?

Did he decide to break it off because he couldn't stand how flustered he was around Soonyoung? Or because he couldn't trust how safe he felt in his arms? Maybe it was because he couldn't stand how Soonyoung's gaze could easily make him buckle his knees? Perhaps it could be because of how unsettlingly warm and cozy he felt in his ex-lover's arms?

Or maybe, most likely, did he do it because he couldn't accept how fast he was falling for the older dancer?

Meanwhile, Soonyoung found it difficult to focus on everything that was going on. Afterall, the boy that he liked, maybe even love (yes, present-tense L-O-V-E), had just broken up with him a week ago. The older dancer often found himself zoning out, his thoughts only consisting of one person - Lee Jihoon.

Was the break-up really for their own good? Or was it just for Jihoon's good? Or, could it possibly be no one's good?

Regrets,heartbreak, pain and desire.

Those were all that Soonyoung could feel for the past week.

Desire... He desired Jihoon - he craved for his touch, his lips, his smile, him. But above that craving was the intense feeling of regret.

Looking back, Soonyoung, too, couldn't understand why he had agreed to break up. Why,just why,didn't he fight for Jihoon? If he liked Jihoon so much, then why hadn't he fought for him? If only he knew how badly he would have craved for Jihoon, he would've fought for him. If only, oh how he wished he would've known, how much he would be craving to have his lips claiming his ex-boyfriend's neck to show everybody he was his... Was his.

Both boys stayed up countless nights pondering on the 'What If's and 'Why's but they never came to a conclusion. And just like their thoughts that grew wider, whatever that was left of their friendship drifted further apart. Despite how physically close they may be, it seemed as if they were two worlds apart.

So close yet so far, huh?

Now, as Jihoon plays Soonyoung's mixtape on replay for the zillionth time today, he silently promises to himself (and maybe to Soonyoung too) that one day, no matter how far that day may be, he'll make Soonyoung his again. And hopefully by then, they would both have gotten their answer on whose good the break-up was for.