Illusion [One-shot]

Another day had passed with me not knowing it.

Just the light that came from the sun reminded me that. Its rays announced a new beginning that wake many living things up and made the scenery visible, exposing its calmness and beauty. Grass followed wind’s orders where to sway. Birds flew and those in branches sang songs in a harmony with their sweet little voices. Flowers bloomed like they just got up and ready to please someone’s eyes.

The view from this old cottage’s broken window is like another world compared here inside.

Lifeless, the first word that will pop out from your mind if you are here. Everything stood still here without the wind’s slightest permission. No door, just some very old pieces of wood that form a rectangular shape that must be once a door frame. Holes from the wooden walls let the sunshine in. The biggest is the one I called a window. In front of me, like a portal to the blissful side of the earth.

Only age is at fault in this, making the wood so fragile, I thought.

The wind’s breeze touched my face gently as I stared longingly at something beyond those trees which I, myself, do not know what it is while reminiscing the moments I dearly missed.

The emptiness here when I first arrived spread like a contagious disease. Now, it reached my heart. I do not feel anything, I wished I do. Numbness is the only thing that my body knew.

It does not cooperate, even though I want to stand and reach out and wake him up, tell him how I love him, I cannot. I do not know if I’m just too tired to move because I cannot even sleep or I’m just too stunned from what happened and the fact that he does not reply.

I do not expect a word, just a grunt or a low moan is enough. And the worst part is, only my body recognizes it, not my heart. The pain is still here and it does not have the slightest idea to leave.

I somewhat wished that my heart will stop beating so it will end all of this but as my body does not obey me, my heart did not too.

I just sat here cross-legged looking out from my so-called window like yesterday for few more hours. Or is it? I can’t really tell. 

There is no moon or sun to tell how many hours had passed since sunrise. I need to eat and sleep, I reminded myself.

For a second, I expected my body or even my feet to move but nothing happened.

I chuckled and almost laughed out loud.

Then I remembered him. How can I forget him? How selfish of me.

I cannot be called his lover if I can forget him so easily even just for a few seconds. He is still here with me and I just knew it and he needs to eat too.

He will and he must.

Go on, move and make some food, I told myself. I was surprised. My body obeyed me for the first time in days as my hand move. I flinched as I felt a sting. That’s when I knew that numbness left me at last.

I looked at my right hand and saw a deep wound far from healing. It runs from the back of my hand to my elbow. The pain increased as I stare at it. I suddenly remembered why I am here.

Why are we here and how all of this is my fault. We could have been somewhat happy back there, living a peaceful life or maybe just him but that is enough.

More than enough to be specific.

I would do anything to make him happy. Including sacrificing my life so I could go back in time where he is still with his family with smiling and contended.

Or maybe not. No, I cannot do that.

No matter if everybody will call me selfish but I just cannot do that.

Because if I did, how could I knew about his feelings and fell in love with him if I’m still the rich hard-headed girl? I knew he was happy when we are together. Not caring if others did looked for us. I knew that the moments with me are the one of the happiest things that happened to him.

I just knew it because it is for me too. And no one can make me think of the opposite.

I smiled as the tears are building up at the corners of my eyes again.

I remembered those days of us being together even though it is so short. So short for lovers but so dear to be treasured.

I remember when it all started too. When everything is perfect at it seems.

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The sun just came up, lightning the place. Making it not as gloomy as before at night. Now, it was like peaceful and calm scenery with birds flying and singing on a sweet tune. Flowers accented the place even more.

But quite judging things, a mere cottage must have been out of place. An old cottage stand somewhere between the trees and a long spread of grass containing some flowers here and there.

The cottage looked like it was abandoned for a long time now. Cracks and holes are visible even from afar. There was even a big hole on one of its walls. It must be a storage hut for someone once because there was no window just a wooden panel where a door must once stood. Melancholic and sad.

That was the cottage looked like but now there is something more to it.

A different feel.

Another emotion. Love.

A terrified looking girl sat in front of the hole for some time now, staring at nothing. Few plastic bags with a grocery store’s name on it leaned on one of its walls. Some torn shirts lied on the cottage’s floor which is dirt. The only sound that you can here inside there was from hers.

Her tear-stained face stare at the wilderness beyond the trees for hours like there was something there that was so entertaining; she can’t take her eyes off. A chuckle came out from her red lips that sometimes bleed from her biting. Tears threatened to fall again from her swollen tired-looking eyes as she continue to chuckle.

A teardrop fell on her hand where a blood-dried wound stretching from her elbow to the back of her hand that is poorly bandaged by a torn piece of cloth that needs to be cleaned and redone again.

Her chuckle turns into an agonizing laugh that scared the birds away. It echoes through trees. She doesn’t care if someone will hear her. Perhaps it is better if someone does.

Specifically a certain man.

She started rocking back and forth gently when she smiled. She must have thought something very happy because now joy can be read on her face.

Like her eyes not wanting to take a break, a tear drops again.

Few meters away, footsteps can be heard. It was going nearer to the cottage. She doesn’t seem to notice but that person did. A village resident was on the look out when he saw a terrible car-crash nearby. He didn't saw any body so he decided to look around.

And here, he took a double take as if doubting his eyes that he saw someone inside the abandoned place. He decided to check on it.

As expected, he saw her, the girl that must be strikingly beautiful if not of her broken state, sitting and rocking back and forth. He tried to approach her while covering his nose from a foul odor and crouched down where the big hole was.

He asked her what she’s doing here and if she’s okay.

She just responded with a sniff and a choked-out chuckle.

But it is more acceptable that she did not do that because he talked to her but because she doesn’t notice him. He tried to talk to her but something else caught his eye.

He fell down on his butt and gave out a yelp, eyes widened as he instinctively covered his nose with his both hands now.

A man’s body was lying beside the girl, dead.