Terror on Planet X!

A/N: So this is the kind of thing that always happens. Everything is always up to me. I'm always the one who solves the problems, and saves the world. And yes, you're right, I do get tired of always having to drag everyone else along. Things would be so much easier if others just got out of the way. This adventure with Lori Ellis, or Sorry Ellis as I like to call her, is the perfect example!

Terror on Planet X!

by Trisha Spencer

"Help me! Help me!" cried Lori Ellis. "Please Trisha, I can't do anything by myself!"

How many times have I heard that screechy voice of hers screaming the same thing since we crash landed on this planet? Planet X, as mysterious as it sounds. It was her fault we went off course, and then she flew us right into the planet and blew up the ship. Now we're trapped with no supplies and no way out, and she thinks I'm going to save her every time she gets into trouble.

I look over to see what is the matter this time. She's fighting one of the alien blob monsters, but I'm already fighting off three of them! I'll have to finish these three off and run to her rescue again.

One blob monster attacks me from in front, and I karate chop it, stunning it. Then I flip it over my shoulder, and it lands into a second blob monster, smooshing into one big blob monster! The third blob monster attacks me, and I use my amazing karate skills to kick it repeatedly in the head until it is stunned. Grabbing one of its blob tentacles, I flip it over my shoulder and it lands in the first two, smooshing into one enormous blob monster!

Except everyone knows that two blob monsters can smoosh together just fine, but three is too many. I throw myself behind a big rock just as the enormous blob monster blows up, sending goo in all directions!

"Help me, Captain Trisha Spencer of Space Fleet! Eeeeeeeeee!" I hear from the other side of the planet. I run as fast as I can, selflessly thinking only about helping my stupid crew member who has caused all her own problems.

I finally reach Lori Ellis. She is covered with goo from the blob explosion, and a big tentacle is dripping over her. She is trying to fight the blob monster with a stick she obviously found. She is almost eaten except I put myself in harms way between them.

Lori Ellis shakes the stick, and the only thing that happens is goo drips off of it.

"Lori, what is the matter with you?" I yell at her. "You have a laser gun! Put down the stick and shoot the blob monster!"

Lori puts down her stick on the ground, and picked up the laser gun I gave her but she dropped somehow.

"It doesn't work!" she shrieked. "I don't know how to use it! I thought I knew everything already so I didn't listen in class, except I didn't really know anything! Eeeeee!"

I grabbed the laser gun from her and found the problem which was so obvious anyone would see that the safety was on. I took it off and threw it away. Then I could use the laser gun to shoot the blob monster. As soon as the laser hit it, the blob super heated and exploded! More goo landed on Lori Ellis, and a tentacle blob was hanging on her face.

"Thank you, thank you!" Lori Ellis said, trying to hug me except there was so much goo I didn't want her to hug me.

Now we had to explore this new planet, Planet X. I led the way, but Lori Ellis was always close by, saying such stupid things that no one would ever think was smart.

"That is such a great laser gun," Lori Ellis told me. "Can I hold it again?"

"No," I told her. "I took the safety off and threw it away so it's dangerous. Only I can handle it."

"Oh," said Lori Ellis, and then she was quiet for a while.

But then she started talking again and asked, "Did your Daddy buy you that laser gun? He buys you so many nice things. He must be very rich, because he owns a dealership."

"No of course not!" I told her. "No one can buy you this gun. You have to win it. I won it by being the best at captaining and fighting aliens at Space Fleet Captain school! It was a major award and no one but me was ever good enough to get one!"

"Wow!" cried out Lori Ellis, clearly impressed.

I explored the whole planet, and killed every monster, even kinds of monsters that no one had ever seen before and no one knew how to kill it. And I kept Lori Ellis alive, against my better judgment. But soon there was no food left and we would die unless I found a way to get us off this planet, Planet X.

"We have no more food!" said Lori Ellis, and she began to cry. "Please Captain Trisha Spencer, you must know how to get us off this planet!"

"Don't worry," I told her. "I know just what to do."

I took my laser gun, and reversed the polarity. Then I pointed it at the planet's moon, and fired! The laser gun was able to burn a whole right through the entire moon. Then all I had to do was stare up at the sky and smile my million dollar smile.

"What are you doing?" Lori Ellis kept asking. But I had to keep smiling, so no matter how many times she asked I didn't say anything.

Finally another space ship landed and an astronaut came out to greet us.

"How did you ever find us?" Lori Ellis asked, because she still hadn't figured it out.

"We've been searching for Captain Trisha Spencer since she went missing," the astronaut told her. "But we didn't know where she was. Then we noticed there was a hole all the way through the moon. We went to the other side of the moon and looked through the hole. It acted just like a telescope, and we could see Captain Trisha Spencer's beautiful smile right here on this spot on Planet X. That's how we found her!"

The astronaut took me back to his ship.

"Wait!" said Lori Ellis. "I think I saw a cure for cancer over here. I'll be right back! La, la, la, la..."

Then Lori Ellis ran off over a hill and was never seen again. The astronaut and I got into his ship, and I closed the door behind us.

"Shouldn't we wait for that girl, whoever she is?" he asked me.

"No," I said. "Planet Y is long overdue to be explored. Take me there immediately!"

So me and my new crew took off to find Planet Y, and an all new adventure!

 The End (?)