I used to be happy. I used to wake up every morning with a stupid infectious smile plastered across my face. I'd never let anyone dictate who I was or barricade my road to success. I used to love being free. God dammit I used to be happy. I was so so so happy. I'm trapped in the darkness of my own intellect, rendered hostage. My breath comes out staggered as I breathe in and out. He lays on top of me in his smoldering sweat. He thinks he did something; something magical. My body hasn't moved an inch. I'm contemplating on whether I should tell him it was all a lie; a hoax. That I'd only done it because I wanted to hype up his pathetic form of narcissism and that my actions were just a simple part of acting. But I thought against it, fearing the repercussions. Now as I lay here, underneath this folderol of a man, my lip twitches. It twitches upward into something many would call a smile. But oh no, this smile is not genuine. It's as fraudulent as the person who claims it. The corner of his lip curves up into a slow malicious smile. One that replicates the smile of Lucifer. I'm sleeping with the devil. His breath is uneven and he begins to grunt. " UH SHIT. Whoah baby that was good. Real good." He says as he pulls out, inspecting his undersized member. My body hasn't moved an inch. I give the nastiest look I can muster in the darkness. Time for me to get back to acting. With an overly exaggerated high pitched tone I began to knead his chest. "Yeah baby you were so rough. I'm so sore right now I think I need a nap." I lied. In reality I wanted to run away. Run away from the hell hole this imbecile has trapped me in. But for now I think sleeping is my best option. I roll over my side of the bed. "I knew you couldn't handle all this, but that's alright, babe, take a nap. Be ready for round two in a little bit." By the time he finished his sentence I was already nodding off to sleep. Him and I both know there won't be a round two. He gave his all in round one. I guess his all was not enough.
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The sun has peeked over the horizon, shining through my eyelids. I smile, a real one this time. My eyes start to flutter open and for once I want to stay in bed. Low moans can be heard from the left side of my body and with a sharp turn of my head I've come into contact with the piece of shit himself. My mood instantly changes. I try my best to move off the bed unnoticed but this bastard has his heavy arms draped across my stomach. With all the might I could muster up in the early hours of the mourning I remove is arms from my abdomen. " Where you going Piph?" he groans.
"No where" I replied. He lifts his head up to a sitting position and looks me in the eyes, as if my eyes had magical lens that'll alert him of any lies told. "Then why you getting up?"
" Damn, you acting like a girl can't get up to go brush her teeth." I said as my feet headed towards the adjoining bathroom. You see the thing about Trey is that he is very insecure. He's insecure about everything in our relationship, so if I wanted to cheat on him, which I do, I'd have to be extremely discrete. Trey gets up from where he is laying down and treads to the bathroom door and just stands there in the door frame. "Why are you watching me?"
" A man can't watch the love of his life brush her teeth?" I almost choked on my spit. Love of his life my ass. The only this the junkie loves is drugs and I'm his little step stool to his bags of narcotics. "No, that's weird as shit. Get out" I shove him then close the door, never forgetting to lock it. I strip naked, ready for the water to cleanse my body of all the filth concurred in the pours of my skin. I scrub and scrub and scrub until I can't scrub no more but I can still smell the scent of his skin on mine. I can still smell his riled up sticky body on top of mine. I sink to the bottom of the tub. Unable to do nothing I cried. I let the water run down my face and mask the salty taste of pain. My head is hung low and all I can hear is the splatters of water dripping down into the tub. I start to think: where did it all go wrong? What did I do? Was it something I did God? I sat there waiting for my answer. But as always the room was quiet with the only sounds coming from the water. I reluctantly rose from my sitting position in the tub and got out the shower. Scanning the room for my towel, I picked it up slowly, and carefully wiped my skin. I was in no rush to return back to my room. As leisurely as I possible can I opened the bathroom door to come face to face with an angered Trey. 'What the hell did I do this time'
" What took you so long? I been waiting for you!" he bellowed. Trey's eyes held rage. One that be only subdued by his sadistic ways of nature. Trey fingers latches through my hair and each of my strands are ignited. He wrenched my locks into his fixed clutch and he pulls, almost to the point where I can feel my hair extracting from my skull. "When you go into that shower you take 10-15 mins tops, you hear me? Don't be wasting my damn water." He shoves me forward letting go of my hair with a sharp thrust of his wrist. I can feel the wind being knocked out of my lungs. Funny thing is that I pay the bills. He doesn't do shit around here, so that is my water! Trey goes back to where he is sitting on the bed and I turn around without another word and head to my closet. As I am getting dressed a huge pair of muscular arms wrap themselves around my core. " Baby I'm so sorry." He pouted. 'Here we go again with the lies' I thought. "You were in there so long I began to think you were skipping out on me. You know like leaving me. I don't know what I'll do if u ever did that. I'm sorry baby." With that he gives me a peck on EACH of my cheeks. " You still going to Armarie's today?" He inquired. I nodded. "Can you get me something to eat? Ain't shit in this house." I gave him another courtly nod and hurriedly dressed to get out the house. As I leave the house my body feels free. Down the street the same old bullshit happens. It's all the same sick cycle. Since Armarie is in the nicer part of town I'll have to walk a little farther with only my thoughts to keep me company. With a fancy architectural design this little shop is my safe haven. The doors to Armarie are the color of eggnog and inside awaits the fresh aroma of world class backed cinnamon rolls and coffee. Ah COFFEE.
