I look at the beautiful pasture, I smile and breathe in the fresh air. I continue walking through the tall grass till I come to a clearing. It's so beautiful it's my safe house in a sense, I have this place to keep me safe from myself. I walk to a tree where a chest sits with a knife and a iPod I put my headphones in and grab the knife I go sit in the middle of the clearing I take the knife and make deep cuts into my arm. It's my masterpiece I start drawing things in my arms flowers with swirls it feels good. The song my immortal blasts through my headphones and I smile at my art work. I layed back in the grass and looked up. I feel the sun on my skin and smile I feel the warm blood dry and again I smile. I close my eyes and before long I feel a shadow loom over me and I look up its him. He looks worried and his eyes become glossy.
“yes?” I ask he scoffs and I sit up I pull out the ear buds
“what is this” he yells I smile
“its my new form of art” I say he rolls his eyes
“bullshit” he says my smile soon fades
“why?” he asks motioning to my arm
“its nothing don't worry about it” I whisper
“I'm going to worry your cutting” he yells
“it's not cutting it's art” I say my eyes stinging with tears I'm the only one who knows the truth behind my so called art. That truth is one single word one word that makes my tears that hurt me. That one truthful word is Pain.
“no it's not, that's not art” he says pointing to the flowers with swirls that are covering my pale skin the dark red blood making pretty red streaks making the flowers look like it's bleeding.
“I think it is…” I whisper
He pounds his head with his fists, I could see the anger in his eyes. He was trying to keep it down but I knew he couldn't, he has blown up on me like this before. He was nasty his words had hurt me. That's when I first started my art. His words still echo in my head as he says them. He had shamed me for cutting once before, he had said that everything was my fault. He said every time I push him away it hurts him but I stress him out. He Said he didn't want me to push him away but he also said I stress him out. It hurt. I didn't know what to think, I was lost and for about a week I avoided him. He was worried, he thought something happened, he thought it wasn't his fault. He acted like he never yelled. He confronted me one day and I just acted like it was nothing and I was having a bad week. I didn't tell him he hurt me to tears. I didn't tell him he was the cause of a lot of my pain right now.
“I CANT BELIEVE YOU, I WORRY ABOUT YOU AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN A DEPRESSED GIRL WHO THINKS CARVING AWFUL DRAWINGS INTO HER ARM IS ART. WELL IT I SENT ITS DISGUSTING. ITS VILE AND CRUEL, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO SOMEONE.”
He yells and I look down. He breaths heavy and he takes the knife and kneels next to me, he takes my arms and scratches out all the drawings with the knife. I scream and tell him to stop but he holds me down. His grip to tight he just continues scratching out all the drawings. I break down I cry and cry and cry. When I pry his grip and get up and back away I'm still crying and I start to yell.
“YOUR THE CAUSE OF THIS, YOU CAUSED IT ALL. YOU CAUSED ALL MY PAIN AMD SUFFERING BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU GET UPSET OR ANGRY YOU HOLD IT IN UNTIL YOU BLOW UP ON SOMEONE. AND YOU BLOW UP ON ME AND IT HURTS ME. BUT I DONT LEAVE YOU BECAUSE I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU SO DEEPLY IN LOVE. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, YOUR HURTING ME AND I CANT TAKE IT.” I yell now sobbing He walks foreward and I put my hands up in defense and I just fall to the ground crying. He backs away and he looks down he's shaking and crying he drops the knife. And falls to the ground unable to move. I grasp the knife and turn it toward me.
“you made me so happy, but now it all just hurts and I can't take it” he looks up as I take the knife and stab myself he leaps foreward trying to stop me but it's to late I'm bleeding in the ground.
he grabs his phone frantically trying to dial 911. My vision was going hazy and he starts yelling saying he loves me to and he wants a life with me. Be was yelling saying he will try to keep his anger under control he will go to therapy. He was crying tears streaming down his face and the last thing I see is him stab himself and then I'm gone
