I Was Never Yours

5-Promise

Content/Trigger Warning: This chapter contains scenes of sexual assault.

With shaking hands I gripped the Styrofoam cup that Zach handed me. My entire body was trembling and I knew I was close to hyperventilation. I looked up gratefully at the tall figure looming in front of me and gulped the lukewarm water hungrily. We were sitting in the waiting lounge now, awaiting the announcement of our flight but boarding that plane was the last thing on either of our minds. Lexie, being the drama queen she always was had exited after our dramatic confrontation and had left me to pick up the pieces. Though it wasn't what Zach was going to say or do that worried me, the only thing I could think about was how Lexie was going to explain this to Noah. I would've told him eventually, but finding out the way he was going to was the last way I'd have wanted. I didn't even want to imagine the look on his face when he finds out; I wasn't scared for myself, all I wanted was to shield him from the pain of knowing. 

Zach sat down next to me, moving rather awkwardly to create enough space between us. Neither of us spoke but I could tell from his body language that there were a million things running through his head. If it'd been someone else I'd just have asked them to spit it out but with Zach I felt as if I had to maintain a certain decorum and that I could never step out of line. I'd always seen him as the guy who'd marry my elder sister and I'd never gotten rid of the shyness and awkwardness that I felt around him.

"You were with someone when we...got married?" he asked, his voice so low that it almost felt like I'd imagined the question.

I nodded slightly and gulped, trying to get rid of the choking feeling in my throat. Here it was, the time to tell him everything. I wondered if that would change his behavior towards me. If he found out that he wasn't the only one to lose a person they'd love then maybe he'd make an attempt to make things better between us.

"Does he know that you...?"

I shook my head. "I haven't told him, I couldn't bring myself to do it," I said in a small voice, hating having to admit what I'd done.

"Is that why you broke your phone? You weren't planning on ever telling, were you?" he asked as understanding dawned upon him and I groaned. Why did he want to find out all about me all of a sudden? I was beginning to think it was better when he treated me like I didn't exist.

"Arianna..." Zach groaned, gripping his forehead, "you don't do that to people," he said and let his head fall to his knees. I knew what he meant; by not telling Noah about what had happened I'd acted like a huge coward but it was a better alternative than breaking the heart of the guy who loved me the most.

"I'm sorry I didn't know that there was a proper way to let your boyfriend know that you married someone else," I said, my tone curter than I wanted it to be.

The Zach I knew would've reprimanded me, given me an equally bitter answer but somehow he remained quiet and I was grateful for that. My head wasn't in the right place and I didn't want to say or do something that I'd regret later. Things were bad enough with Zack as it was and I didn't want to do anything to further deteriorate that.

"Did you love him?" he asked me after a while and I decided it was no use hiding it.

"More than you can imagine." I let out a bitter laugh but something bugged me. He'd asked me did you love him, it was like he was referring to the past. I still loved Noah, I would always love him and I was sure that my feelings for him would never change.

Next to me, Zach sighed and at the same time an announcement was made, signaling that the plane was ready for boarding. I quickly grabbed all my stuff and headed to join the line that was already starting to form. I couldn't believe the conversation that we'd been having. I was discussing my love life with the guy I was married to; that couldn't be normal could it?

A guy separated me and Zach in the line and the distance was calming. I took out my documents, my hands fumbling with all the various pieces of paper until they all fell on the ground. The guy behind me picked them up before I could even get down to do it myself and as he handed them to me, he squeezed my hand and gave me a toothy grin. Immediately I pulled back from him; the look in his eyes and the smell of his breath told me that he was drunk.

"What, a guy don't even get a thank you?" he slurred and I retreated farther away from him till I barged into the woman standing in front of me. She turned around and glared at me, muttering bitch. Great, now I was stuck between a drunk and a real-life version of Regina George. The guy didn't take my moving away from him as a sign that he creeped me out, instead he moved closer to me and whispered in my ear, a chill running down my spine as he spoke.

"You know you look mighty fine and that ass...'' He sucked in a breath as his hands trailed lower down my back. I whimpered at the lust in his voice, his touch making me feel disgusted with myself and dirty. I closed my eyes, praying that he'd leave me alone.

A loud bang made me open my eyes and I turned to see Zach throwing a punch at the drunken man who ended up lying on the floor with a loud thud with blood oozing from his nose. Zach towered over him, his foot resting on the man's stomach, crushing it under his weight. My eyes widened as I took in the scene before me.

"You touch her one more time and you'll be begging me to kill you," Zach growled at him and the man on the floor nodded his head furiously, looking scared out of his wits; he sobered up pretty quickly, I thought to myself. I rushed to Zach's side and he immediately directed his attention to me. "Are you okay?" he asked and I nodded, not looking at his face but his bruised knuckles. Security had arrived by then and were picking up the man from the floor roughly. None of them asked Zach any questions; even they knew who he was, who we were, and that granted some benefits.

I gingerly took hold of Zach's hand, trailing my fingers over the bruises. "You didn't need to do that," I whispered, afraid to look into his eyes which I knew for a fact were focused on me. He pulled his hand away from mine and walked back to the line; this time I stood next to him. I would have clung to his arm had it not been such an inappropriate idea. 

"I might not be the love of your life Arianna but it's still my job to protect you whether you like it or not."

Was it wrong to say that hearing him say those words made me feel, for the first time in what felt like a long time, like I would be safe and that nothing could harm me, not if he was there? But then what if he became the person who would harm me? Could Zach really protect me from himself and the nature of our relationship?