The Beast in Man (Vampires in Berlin: Book One)

The Beast in Man Part 2

  The following evening, Paul found Richard outside again, staring out towards the edge of the forest that bordered the clearing. It didn't seem, to Paul, as though Richard was truly looking at anything, judging by the intensity of his thousand-mile-stare, and the musing look upon his face that had both lips and brows curving down slightly. Paul watched him for a while, at the way that Richard still puffed at his cigarette rhythmically despite his obvious distraction, at the relaxed state of his shoulders and his general pose, at the slight up-tilt to his nose that always seemed more noticeable in profile. Then Paul suddenly saw Richard's mouth curve into a smile and the other man shot him a sidelong glance, teeth showing in a sudden grin.

"You're staring, Paulchen," Richard said, breath clouding from his mouth with the cold and the smoke that he breathed out on exhale.

"Can you blame me?" Paul asked, as he grinned unapologetically at the other man.

"Not really," Richard replied, as he tilted a wink at Paul.

"Modest as well as handsome. Nice," Paul said, dryly.

"I thought you knew this by now," Richard said, as he offered his hand for Paul to hold.

Paul huffed out a brief laugh and took it, before he folded his fingers around Richard's own; he felt the other man squeeze his fingers affectionately even though Richard didn't say anything. Paul always loved the times when they gently teased one another, comfortable enough in each other's presence by now to know what to say, and how to say it without causing offence; years in the band, and of long friendship had lent them that much, and the last few years of a deeper and more intimate relationship had strengthened their teasing and shared jokes. Paul felt a flutter in his chest then, that he knew was love and he smiled at Richard, an expression which Richard himself caught and returned, even though his grin was a little puzzled by comparison.

"What's so funny?" Richard asked.

"Love is," Paul replied, with a slight huff of laughter.

"I wouldn't have said love was funny, Paul," Richard said, confusion deepening. "More ... kinda nice, actually, once you have it."

"And do you have it?" Paul couldn't help but ask.

"Stupid question, Paul," Richard huffed. "If you don't know the answer to that by now, then I can't help you."

"I'm gonna take that as a yes," Paul said, knowing that that was Richard's obscure way of saying - I love you - without emasculating himself. "It's alright to say it, you know."

"I know," Richard said, and there was slight sadness beneath his seriousness then, and he squeezed Paul's fingers again. "You know, anyway. Words mean nothing. Everything else means more."

Paul had to laugh at that, despite the fact that he knew what Richard meant; even though Richard rarely said that he loved Paul, it was there to see in every glance, every expression and smile, every kiss, caress and hug, and every time they made love. Paul knew, that in a way, Richard was right; words could be fabricated and forged, yet actions, genuine ones at that, never could be faked.

"Yes," was all that Paul said in the face of Richard's logic.

Richard seemed to know what he was thinking for he smiled, that beautiful grin that always appeared whenever Richard was at his most unguarded. Paul felt a little sad, when he thought that it wasn't often that he saw that truly unguarded grin of Richard's; he sighed, sending a plume of breath arcing up towards the skies, even as it began to snow again, softly at first, clouds sending tiny flakes spiraling and spinning down to the ground. Neither man spoke; instead, they stood in silence and watched as the snow continued to fall, to thicken into great feat flakes that settled and clung to the drifts already piled upon the ground. Paul turned when he heard the door to the cabin open nearby, before Flake's head peeped out from around the wooden barrier.

"Best hurry up; dinner's almost ready and Till's already threatening to eat it all," Flake said, but his face was creased into a frown instead of a smile.

"Okay, we'll be there in a minute," Paul replied, with a nod and watched as Flake popped back inside the cabin with a nod of his own.

Paul glanced at Richard, yet the other man still seemed far away and lost in his own thoughts, cigarette burnt down only halfway. Richard caught the other man looking at him and smiled a little faraway smile.

"You go in, Paulchen," he said, softly as he lifted the cigarette into mid-air. "I'll follow once I've finished this."

Paul knew better than to argue with the other man; whenever Richard worked himself up into one of his morose moods, it was never wise to argue with him or try to talk him out of it. All Paul could do was show patience, and understanding. He nodded and leant in to press a kiss against Richard's cheek, which at least made the other man laugh and it sounded genuine.

"Get along with you, Paul," Richard said, but he sounded affectionate and warm and not quite so morose anymore.

Paul nodded, patted Richard's butt and walked away; he glanced back only once and saw that Richard closely watching his retreat, a fond smile upon his face that didn't disappear when Richard caught Paul staring at him. They shared winks before Paul plunged inside the cabin and joined the others at the table, where the dinner was just being served up.

****

Richard felt sadness wash over him at the departure of Paul, even though he'd sent the other man away. Things always seemed darker whenever his partner wasn't there, as though by his sheer presence, Paul could keep the worst of the darkness away and perhaps he could. Richard thought of the things that Paul had started to say, about love; Richard had to smile at that, even as his heart constricted a little in what he thought must be love in turn.

He sighed and felt a little of the sadness he almost always carried with him recede a little; he stuck his rapidly burning cigarette between his lips again and took a deep drag, eyes closing with the effort of it. He held onto his smoky mouthful for a few moments, savouring it, before he sent the whole lot out in a billowing cloud that arced towards the sky and seemed to separate around the flakes that were falling. Richard blinked some of the flakes away from his eyelashes and in so doing, caught movement at the edge of the clearing again.

He frowned; he thought that the movement was in the exact same place that he'd seen it in the previous night. On impulse, he walked away from the porch that butted up against the side of the cabin and cast his gaze across to where the room that he shared with Paul was. He followed his line of sight from the night before and found that his first guess was pretty accurate. Richard stuck his cigarette back between his lips again and shoved his cold hands into his pockets, as he began the track across the clearing to investigate more closely as to what had attracted his attention. Even though he knew that dinner was likely to get cold and that Paul, more so than the others, would worry about his prolonged absence, his curiosity was too much to ignore.

When he reached the edge of the clearing, he found that whatever it was that he'd seen moving had gone, yet he found traces of footsteps scuffed in the snow, and scattered pine needles further in beneath the trees. He bent with a frown; the prints were definitely human and not an animal as he'd first thought it might be. He frowned deeper still and looked up when he heard a slight sound from nearby; that was when darkness descended and he knew no more.