Caitlin sat in her boyfriend's room, scrolling through Instagram on her phone. He had gone to the bathroom for a moment, so she was texting her friends. Then, her boyfriend Chase sashayed into the room. He had taken off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He looked at Caitlin and said one thing that would change it all...
"I'm emo. You're cold. Together we are emo cold. So fuck me." He said flipping his hair and throwing his leg up onto a nearby dresser. Caitlin gasped and blushed profusely, but smirked.
"Of course. Let's go." She said, and Chase grabbed a huge ass knife. Caitlin then stopped and stared, for what ever could it be for?
"I'm kinky as fUCK" Chase screamed, pulling out handcuffs, collars, ropes, and tons of other things from his closet. He then punched Caitlin onto the bed, and he took of her shirt while he played with her breasts. He then unbuttoned her jeans and spent 10 minutes trying to help her pull them off, as they were skinny jeans and were difficult. He then finished undressing her and undressed himself, but right as he began to straddle her and position himself, someone burst in the door.
"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!!" They screeched at the top of their annoying ass voice.
IT WAS HILLARY CLINTON!!!!!
"MY OPPONENT IS A LIAR AND CANNOT BE TRUSTED" she screeched.
"whAT THE FUCK" Caitlin and Chase yelled in unison.
"If I become president of the United States, I will make America dank again." She said, her knee on a box and her gust thrown in the air. "Donald Trump wants to build a wall, but I say BUILD UP THE DANK MEMES!" She then dabbed with her old lady arms and attempted to bottle flip while doing so, failing at everything. She then proceeded to fall over and screech, "I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP! I FORGOT MY LIFE ALERT! HELP MEEEEEEEE..." before passing out.
Kazoo kid then stuck his head out of the closet. He looked at the scene before him, picked up a kazoo that had fallen from Hillary's pocket, and locked eyes with Chase.
"I think we're gonna be friends." He said before playing his kazoo song on repeat.
Suddenly, Caitlin got a call from Victorya. She answered quickly, and she put it on speaker.
"I love you, and I miss you, HNNNNNNNNNNN" it said, and she just exchanged glances with Chase.
Dat boi suddenly burst through the door, and saw Hillary on the ground.
"Here come dat boi, oh shit waddup." It said in a monotone voice. As it noticed Hillary on the ground, it pulled out two other smaller dat bois. "Don't talk to me or my son or my son's son ever again." And he rolled out.
A transformer burst through the ceiling with Mr. Smith, the math teacher, riding on top of it.
"TRANSFORMERS, MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!!" He bellowed from his metal throne. He stayed for only five seconds before blasting off Team Rocket style.
"HILLARY I BROUGHT THE MATCHES SO I CAN BURN YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME YOU EVIL WITCH!" Trump jumped through the window and saw them sitting on the bed and everything that was a mess, but mostly he was focused on the kazoo kid who was still playing his song. "Are you a Mexican, kid? Cuz if you are, GET THESE ILLEGALS OUT OF MY SWAMP!!" He yelled as he transformed into Shrek.
"Shrek is love, Shrek is life." The kazoo kid whispered.
"I'd hit that." Donald Trump/Shrek said. They stared at each other for a moment, before Trump/Shrek said one last thing. "Get shrecked." He then nyoomed away at the speed of a Sanic that had chocolate milk. The kazoo kid began to play sad music as he watched his senpai leave, then following after.
"Are they finally gone?" Chase asked.
"Yeah, I hope." Caitlin sighed. "Now where were we?"
"WAIT!" I screeched as I ran in.
"Grace? What the fuck are you doing here?" Caitlin seemed really annoyed.
"IM FORGETTING MEMES!!! AHHHHHH!!!" I ran around the room over Hillary's body screeching loudly, before suddenly coming to a halt. I turned around to face them slowly, before saying quietly, "goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters." I then walked away and returned to my closet home.
Finally, it seemed to have stopped. They sighed in relief and were about to get back to business when they seemed to teleport away. They were now in a field, in the centre of a circle of people. Everyone who had been in there today had formed a circle around them; even Hillary was awake again for it. Then in unison, they began to chant.
"Fun. Fun. Hush, quiet. Be provocative, be organised. Be provocative, be organised. Fun. Fun. Fun. Loooovveee. Creativity, no. Renewal. Creativity, no. Renewal. Creativity, no. Renewal. Creativity, no. Renewal." Then a cloaked man ran up and grabbed the son of dat boi. Dat boi looked at where his son once was.
"The dark man took my son. AHHHHH" he said, and everyone joined in. Donald Trump began to make yipping noises. And then, it all ceased. They began to all walk in a circle, singing. "Coconut coconut sharks on the water, coconut coconut sharks on the water..."
After maybe 69 minutes of that song, Caitlin and Chase were back in the room.
"Finally. They're gone now." He said.
"Yeah. That was... weird." Caitlin replied. There was and awkward silence and Chase leaned in to kiss her, when out of the ceiling fell another.
"I THINK I FOUND MY BERRIES" He said as he licked some grapes. "NOPE NOT MY BERRIES." And he ran away.
"Well. Ya know what let's just do this another time. It's obviously not gonna happen today." Caitlin sighed as she re-dressed herself.
"Fine... I guess you're right." They got dressed and Chase brought Caitlin home, and as they parted, Celine Dion began to play.
"Near, far, wherever you are..." it began.
"Never let go Jack." Caitlin joked.
"Never let go Rose." Chase said in reply.
Then Elsa burst in screaming the lyrics to her song. "LET IT GOOOOO"
She was then 360 noscoped by the Pokémon GO kid.
"I PLAY POKEMON GO EVERY DAY! I PLAY POKEMON GO-" Chase stabbed him. He was dead. Chase then began to slowly turn into Pepe as he faded into the sunset. As Caitlin watched, she could only say one things.
"Memes."
THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. OKAY OKAY.
~ME
