As I trace the state lines along my arm I remember the last few months of my life and how much I've grown. Every bruise collected on my bony knees helped shape me. Over the last twelve months I've been broken down over and over again, I redefined rock bottom and I've had the best memories of my life.
I look back at the candid photos, blurry polaroids, and coffee stained journal entries and I tear up. I see who I was and remember what I went through to get to here. I have faced every demon fathomable my man and lived to tell the tale. Although at the end of the year I'm going to replace the calendar these dates will be carried with me.
The stadium lights and crunching of the leaves leaves me carefree. I am like the leaves, fall changes me and brings out my best. But just like those leaves as we get closer to winter I begin to fall down. Winter may be difficult but it will pass like the weather. I have learned how to let my walls down and to not freeze them out.
Two Thousand and Sixteen has been the hardest year of my life. Although it has not yet come to completion I am not afraid for the new year. The struggles I have went through have prepared me for what comes next. I am no longer in the shadow of the angels and I no longer feel worthless. I am who I have always wanted to be and I won't change that for anyone else's sake.
