Forgotten Memories. Forgotten Grieviences.

Chapter.1

Somedays when you wake up, you feel a certain numbness towards everything that immediately happens to you. Probably because you're still half asleep and your mind somehow convinces you that it is nothing but tricks of the light. You convince yourself that all is well and you're just being 'paranoid'. You might fall back asleep, convinced that in your world all the angels are protecting you, giving up their lives for you.

On other days, however, the slightest movement can scare you. Be it a whisper among the trees or a mouse hurrying through the drain to its family. On these days, everything freaks you out, makes you feel like something bad is going to happen at any moment and you spend all day anticipating a new horror. When the horror doesn't visibly appear, your heart starts beating and you feel as if you cannot breathe because of all the stress. But when you finally relax, it attacks.

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Ashley awoke with a loud shriek. The high pitched voice sounded through out the house and from a distance, steady thumps of feet hitting the floor could be heard as her family rushed to her bedroom. Bursting in, her mother took her into her arms while she sobbed as her father patted her back and murmered soothing words of love and care to her. Her brother looked at her with his utmost sympathy while her little sister Jamie clutched onto his sleeve in a fright as she looked upon her elder sister cry.

This wasn't new, oh no, this was part of the regular routine of the Burke's family. Everyone just thought Ashley had nightmares and she would grow out of them soon enough. But no, my dear, nothing is black and white. There are always splashes of red in between.

Ashley seemed like a normal girl until the accident. She had laughed, talked, danced and enjoyed life. She had been one of the most liked girls in her school if not popular. That was until it happened. The car crash. The blood. The shattered glass. The tears. The pain. The endless guilt. But worst of all, the brain affectance.

She swore on her mother's life she was a careful driver. She wasn't rebellious. It wasn't her fault. Or maybe it was. After all, it was she who killed baby Rose. What normal person would get a baby killed? Baby Rose was the most precious baby in all the world, with her rosy cheeks, her long eyelashed, toothless yet gorgeous smile and her dimples. She was a baby other babies and even adults craved to be. So why kill a darling baby like that? Simple. Ashley was halfway psychotic from the start. She had rammed the car into a nearby wall in her anger over not getting the last pair of brand new heels at the mall. Little did she remember, little Rose was sitting right beside her. Before she knew it, Rose was flying out the window, her tiny body bloody and lifeless. It was a gruesome scene.

No no. She wasn't affected by this by some other back story accident. This was how she was born. It was who she was. She couldn't always control it.

Baby Rose wasn't even her own sister. She was the baby sister of her best friend Janet. Janet had screamed at Ashley, demanding her to bring her baby sister back or kill herself. It was only fair, afterall.

Ashley, shaken by sobs, looked around at her family. These people were kinder than any. It wasn't their fault she was diagnosed with some rare mind disease that prevented her from being normal. It wasn't her fault either. It was just life. She knew deep down in her heart no one would ever love her and that was okay with her. She didn't need love anyway, just understanding.

The memories always came back, haunting her. Her heart broke everytime she thought of how hurt Janet had been and how lifeless Rose had looked. She loved those two girls. Maybe her love was killing people.

With everything running in her mind, she rested on her mother and wept it all away. Yet the guilt stayed. It always did.