Why am I like I am?
Why am I such a freak?
Why can't I just be a normal person?
Why do I keep doing it?
Why do I think that the pain will make it better, when all it does is leave me with another thing about myself that I have to hide?
Why couldn't I find something better to do, like drawing or some shit like that.
It seemed so easy when the guidance counselor told me to find an alternative.
So why can't I just do it?
Its not that hard, I'm just a pathetic excuse for a human.
Why can't I just be the picture perfect daughter my parents want me to be?
All I'd have to do is listen to the bible and follow everything in it like they told me.
Why can't I just take that little bit of advice,
That I was able to follow for the first 10 years of my life?
Why did I have to question things?
Why can't I just tell them that I've failed on every thing they've wanted of me?
It's better then leading them on with this stupid façade I've held up all these years.
Why did I have to change?
Why did boys and girls and everything in between have to be attractive to me?
Why can't I just get a husband and have kids and be everything my parents want me to be?
Why can't they just accept me for what I am?
They always tell me they will love me no matter what, but they have laid down a list of things that I can't be.
Why am I not as pretty as the other girls?
Why did I have to look like me?
Why do they tell you all people were made equal when there are an excess of people who would rather die than be seen with the weird girl?
Just why
Why does it seem that in every aspect of my life I need to ask for the approval of others?
Why can't I just make my own decisions?
Why did I have to be a statistic of the kids who are bullied in the us?
Is it selfish to not want to be a statistic?
Is it bad to just want to be one of the popular kids, instead of being just me.
Why can I only be myself on the internet or in front of literally the two people I feel I can trust?
Why do people want to fake having all these disorders when if they actually had them their life would suck?
Why did I have to have disorders?
Why do people think I just have bad anger issues?
Why can't they give me time to tell them that I actually have a medical problem?
Why do some not wanna believe me?
And why do the ones who do wanna treat me like I'm fragile.
Why
Why did I have to survive that suicide attempt?
Why couldn't I have not thrown up all of the contents of my stomach?
Why couldn't I just stay asleep that one day?
Why didn't my mom even acknowledge that I had a problem until after it was far too late?
Why do I have to live with a constant reminder that'll never go away.
Why me?
Was I a bad person?
Did I do something that led me to deserve this?
An answer to just one of the questions that plague my mind, would give me the slightest bit of hope.
