The Little Things That Count

~Chapter 2~

I don't really think it matters how many friends you have in your life. Two can make a greater impact than twenty. Sitting here while watching my only two friends argue has me thinking that my assumption is correct. 

"You need to put yourself out there more. You're pretty hot for a gay guy. If I was a guy, I'll fuck you in the ass one hundred percent." Julia makes a circle with her hand and bangs it with her finger. 

Julia Lawson. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Pale skin. Everything a vampire would have, she said to me once. Because of that, she wears fangs and dresses in black. I met her in 3rd grade. Michael Gordon stole my drawing pad while I was doodling during snack time. Julia punched him in the nose a minute after. Best friends ever since. She tends to get in trouble a lot, but I don't think anyone cares much with her parents being cops and all. They'll just bail her out every time, and erase all her records to make sure no one knows anything. Even though she's a troublemaker, I still lover her. She always tell me that we have a special "lesbian" love that no one can take away. We are meant to be together. We are meant to be best friends. I still see that as a promise that none of us will break. 

Julia gets her hands slapped away by Rob. 

"Now THAT'S an idea I can't accept." He grabs Julia by the ear and pulls. "Also, you're not my type. Sorry, pal." 

Rob Bush. Taller than Julia and I. Black hair that he spikes up. Green eyes that he brags about a little too much. Openly gay to the world, but the world is most certainly not openly gay back. I met him about three years ago. Not really the type of guy that I would see hanging out with a girl like me. But here he is, the most amazing friend I can ever have. Along with Julia, of course. Sometimes I feel like he's someone I can go to when I'm not having a good day. Julia is nice when it comes down to that, but when Rob is serious, you can tell. It always makes me feel better afterwards. I love him for that. 

Julia sneers and punches Rob on the shoulder. "Don't abuse me like that, Rob. I'm a fragile little gem."

"I'm guessing punching me doesn't count as abuse."

"It's called self-defense. I'm protecting myself from your cruel hands." 

Rob snorts. "That's a load of bullshit if I ever smelled it."

"Maybe you're just smelling yourself. Anyways," She quickly turns herself away from Rob, who had his mouth hanging open for another comment, and smiles at me. "I haven't seen you all summer, Victoria."

It's because I was drowning in depression. I smile back a little. "Yeah, sorry. My mom was packing away a lot of stuff and she made me her slave. It took forever." I answered, thinking back to all the banging I heard from her when she was stuffing everything from Jack's room into trash bags.  She kept everything the same in her room. Dad's stuff never touched. She doesn't even go in there anymore. 

"Are you guys moving?" I could sense a little sadness in her tone. 

"No." I shake my head. "It was just....old family things that needed to be put away."

Julia nods and decides to change the subject. 

'I've been watching these Youtubers, and I've heard they're coming into town this school year to, like, teach about what they do and how they do it. I might take the class. You guys should take it with me." 

"Please tell me you're taking it to learn stuff and not just to fangirl over everyone." Rob scoffs. 

Julia elbows him in the gut. "Actually, I AM taking it to learn stuff. I'm very interested in what they do." 

Rob rolls his eyes as the bell rings. 

"Please tell me what you guys think today. I really don't want to be alone." Julia jumps up and runs to her first class. Rob pats my hand and goes the opposite direction. Then there was me, not really wanting to go anywhere. I rub the wooden bench I was sitting on. It never surprises me how smooth this bench can be. I never get splinters from it. I look at all the flowers and the big oak tree. Our school is really beautiful. I sometimes wish my yard looked like this. Maybe I would go outside more if it did. 

I glance up to loud voices that was starting to echo along the school grounds. It was a bunch of guys carrying bags, walking down the sidewalk towards the main doors of my school. I guess they're the Youtubers. Or not, I think as I watch them. Just at that moment, one of them looks up. Looks up right at me. Why at me? His brown hair falls into his face, his teeth flash at me a handsome smile. And he doesn't stop staring until he's inside the building. 

                                                                                               ------

Leave it to the school to give me just two classes for the day. I know I've finished half of them, but at least try to give me more than two. I'm not complaining anyways. I can get more free time to finish the homework early so I'll be able to do other things. Like, write. All I do is write. 

The classes I have are English and Math. English is just some writing class that I can take to help with my skills that Id on't see myself using anytime in the future. It's with some wrinkly old woman who has this french name no one can pronounce. Mrs. Grade teaches the college math class I'm in. Unlike the french old woman, Mrs. Grade had us stand up and introduce ourselves. 

"I'm Victoria Steel. This is my last year of high school and I'm pretty grateful for that." 

I'm pretty grateful for that. Was I? Did I really enjoy leaving such a beautiful place everyday? Back to the plain house I didn't want to be at anymore? Why did school have to be the place I wanted to spend last second of my life at? 

Because I'm happy here, I answer myself. What do I get here? 

I get memories with my friends. I get to do what I love to do. Be on my own around miles and miles of amazing gardens. I get to relax in fields so I can think straight for once. New and interesting things show up everyday for me.  

What do I get when I go home? 

My stupid blank room. A hallway I don't even like walking in anymore. A mom I hardly see and spend time with. Aren't you supposed to do that with your mothers? Bond? Connect? Have a talk about life here and there? What if I get my heart broken for the first time? Isn't she supposed to give me the boy speech? The talk about safe sex? Don't I deserve that stuff? Don't I deserve anything from her? Does she even know I feel when I see her everyday, walking around like some spirit who hasn't found the light yet? 

I want to reach out and touch her. I want to feel her arms around me and her head on my chest. I want to be able to comfort her. 

"But that was Dad's job." I whisper out loud. 

I look down at my trembling hands. It WAS Dad's job. It was always his job to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright. 

But he had to leave. He had to move away. He had to take Jake away. My float. My plank that was keeping me from drowning. 

They had to....

Die. 

Who was going to hug me and tell me everything's alright now? 

"Hi." A voice makes me jump and look up. Some stranger was standing in front of me. But after awhile, he didn't seem strange anymore. I felt like I've seen the smile before...

All I do is blink as he clears his throat.

"I'm Brad."