Not So Bad

Part 1

I heard an ear piercing scream come from the living room, as if someone was stabbed in the hand. I ran as fast as I could, almost knocking a vase off the table. I get to the source of the scream and what I see was very shocking.

"Logan, you're a grown ass man, kill it!"
"No, I'm not touching that thing!"

There was a roach on the floor, just minding its own business. But this was my house and my rules. The rules specifically state that any roach that wanders in is no longer safe.

"Reina! Grab the shoe!"

I saw my new pair of shoes in the corner. They cost me $159.99 and I haven't even worn them yet. I guess I have no choice. I ran over to the corner and grabbed Logan's new pair of tennis shoes and ran over to where the roach was.

"What are you doing? Those are my new shoes! I meant yours!"

"I know what you meant." I said calmly.

I lifted the shoe up to strike down on the pest. But I wasn't quick enough. It flew towards me and I barely dodged it. This bitch can fly?! I immediately started screaming next to Logan. I then noticed the window behind us. I opened quickly before the roach prepared to fly towards us. We both ducked in time and the little demon flew outside. Logan shut the window and we both collapsed on the floor. We started laughing together because we realized we both realized we were screaming at a bug. And then I punched him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for!"

"For telling me to use my new shoes. You know how important those are to me."

This is only one instance of what it's like to live with him. One time he made a joke about vegans to a vegan bodybuilder and I had to step in before he got his ass beat. But he's not the worst roommate. He's got his uses. Like one time, i was on the roof while it was raining because I just felt like it. Yes, I did know how stupid it was. That's why I did it in the first place. So as fate would have it, I slipped and fell off. I still remember, through all the rain on my face I felt one single tear. But it just so happened Logan was coming to yell at me for making so much noise while he was trying to nap, and he ended up catching me bridal style. I remember Logan crying like a child that night thinking about what would've become of me if he hasn't showed up. The fall wasn't high enough to kill me, just turn me into a useless vegetable.

And before you talk about sexual tension, we've already tried each other and we feel nothing. We've made out a few times, and we even tried to do something but we didn't want to touch each others "hooha" as one of my friends would put it. I also know he's straight, he just can't hit on a girl for shit. Unless it's me. One time we were watching TV and he saw a triangle in a commercial and be said "Wow, that things more acute than you are!" And I said "Aw ya think so?" Blushing a little bit.

"No I was referring to your terrible posture."

I've never threatened to slice someone's tongue with a rusty spatula before that night.

Another buff is that he doesn't mind when I bring men into my bedroom. If anything he's actually capable of scaring away any man who tries to pull anything. Logan looks at life like a 4 year old looks at the dark. But he knows how to defend himself. Or so I'm told, but I guess for now we have kind of a deal going on. He makes sure we don't die, and I pay the bills, the electricity, gas, water, car notes, heat, internet, cable, and other various luxuries. "How can you pay for that by yourself?" You might ask. Being a stripper with the earned title "Big, Bad, and Bodacious" really pays off. Literally.

It was a Friday night, one of the busiest nights for me. It's when the high school boys decide to sneak out and see what real boobs look like. The upside is that they steal money from their rich parents who are too strict to let them out of the house. The only thing is, they're very annoying and they sound like a kid in a candy shop.