Dont Give Up (A Jax Teller Short Story)

lets get something straight

I'm sure your wondering why I'm telling you this story.... well, I want to make sure that you or anyone else doesn't make the same mistakes I made. I made some pretty gnarly mistakes in my life, but I can't regret them. I just cant. Everything went downhill after I had my second child with Jackson. He stopped coming home stopped calling. It wasn't until I filed for divorce he tried mending what we once had. Shit was literally hitting the fan in all directions. Gemma was constantly on my ass thinking I was taking Abel and Thomas away but I wasn't. I just couldn't be married to Jackson anymore. I was done I had given up, thrown in the towel.

"What's this bullshit?" He asked throwing the Manila envelope on the dining room table "exactly what it is Jackson. I want a divorce" I said pushing the envelope towards him "your not taking my boys out of Charming" he said "never said I was. God Jax I'd never take those boys away from you. Your the one who put the distance here not me" I said "I've been busy" he said I laughed. "Jax we both know your with Tara, saw it with my own eyes a few times. No need to bullshit the bullshitter here" I said "I know what your trying to do Novalee, yeah I may be with Tara. Who cares not like you want me here" Jax said "whoa I never said I didn't want you here. I'm constantly calling you because the boys want to talk to you and your the one who never picks up Jax. Never" i said standing up and getting in Jaxs face "get out of my face" Jax said in a low growl "why? You gonna hit me? Go ahead, I don't care anymore Jackson I'm done. You made your choice, you made the choice to leave, not me! I think I've given you enough chances." I said Jax looked at me, I had never seen him look at me like that before. "Get out." He said "excuse me?" I asked taking a step back "this is my house. You never signed the papers to change it to your name. get out. And don't think about taking my son's with you. Or I'll have you arrested for kidnapping" Jax said "your little slut put that shit in your head huh? I'll fucking see you in court Jackson and watch just fucking watch who walks out of that courtroom with those boys, not you. Just remember to tell them every night why thier mother isn't here to put them to bed or read them a story." I said walking out the front door and slamming it causing mine and Jaxs wedding photo that was on the wall shatter to the ground.

Jackson ended up calling me back later that night because he couldn't deal with the boys having a temper tantrum.

"Listen I'm sorry for freaking out on you" he said quietly after I had just gotten the boys to sleep. "I'm not" I said walking past him, he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him "the boys need you not me. They barely know me anymore" jax said as his arms were right around me, I pulled back "Jax, only you can fix that. Your the one who left. Not me" I said walking away. "I want to come home" he said. I stopped dead in my tracks "I want to be with you, I've screwed up everything in my life and you still stand there and look at me with all this love in your eyes for why I'm not sure." jax said. I couldn't look at him. I still had my back to him "when I am inside any other girl Nova all I see is your face, because I'm scared, I'm scared of letting you down. But that's all I've done all these years is let you down , I'm done being that person" he said, at that moment I hung my head I could hear it in his voice. He was the sincere Jackson the one I fell in love with I slowly turned around and saw his walking towards me, grabbing my face and crashing his lips to mine. Ya know that earth shattering shit.

A few weeks went by and everything changed, Jax was home everyday, called all the time. I felt like he changed. Everything was fantastic, but nonetheless I found out why. Tara had left town. Packed up and left without saying goodbye. I could give two shits. Seems to of messed up my husband pretty good but whatever, stupid bitch. Abel was just approaching his fifth birthday, and once again Jax was gone no where to be found for three days, come to find out he was picked up and looking at some serious jail time. I had to go see him. I had to make sure he was ok. But I needed to put some distance between us. I remember hearing a song on the radio on my way up to Stockton prison. Made me think alot. About Jax and I. It was Aaron Lewis Vicious Circles (seriously listen to it you'll understand how Novalee feels). I knew what i was doing or I thought at least. Turns out him and few members were looking at nearly 14 months on the inside. he looked hurt when I saw him. He knew that he would be missing out on so much of his sons life, but i made a promise to him. Something I thought I'd never hear him say "take our boys and get the hell out of Charming". I was shocked when he said that to me, but doing as an old lady was told was key in our marriage well any marriage for that matter. He gave the "write me and tell me where you are and I'll meet you". Mumbo jumbo. I knew he was lying to me. So I did what I was told. As soon as I got home I packed up and took our boys to Raleigh North Carolina. They seemed to adjust quite well, missing thier father of course, I was reluctant to even write to Jax. But I knew he would be angry if I didn't tell him where his boys were so I did. Of course I never heard back from him. Not one letter the entire fourteen months he was in prison. I sent him letters every week from the kids letting him know how they were doing, but still nothing. Because I left without a trace no one knew where I was besides Jackson. So if something were to happen I would never know. I thought about flying back a few times and checking to make sure he was ok but something stopped me, I couldn't get on the plane because once i went back to that toxic town I would never leave. It wasn't until about 2 months ago I had gotten wind that the sons of anarchy was done. All the hard work that John teller put into that club it was finished, I knew Jax wouldn't do that so maybe something did happen to him. August 4th the day that will forever implanted in my head for a few reasons it would of been our 7th anniversary married. And because of this

I was washing the dishes from lunch in the sink watching out the window as Abel and Thomas play in the sandbox in the backyard I was humming to myself when I heard Abel yell. I went to the back door and heard it again "Daddy's coming! I hear it!" He screamed. I heard the motorcycle in the distance. For the entire 24 years I've knows Jax I could tell that sound from miles away.