DIMENSIONS

0:01

Losing a parent is something that you're never prepared for. Whether they walk out on you or pass on, it's not something you expect no matter how old you get. I definitely wasn't prepared to lose both of mine. As I stare at my attire in the reflection of my bedroom mirror, a mid length black dress with a long black cardigan over it, I start to realize just how bad this day is going to go. I heard a soft knock on the guest room door as I tucked the last piece of hair into my bun.

"Come in." I said hating how soft my voice was. My grandmother poked her head in the doorway; I don't know how she seemed so calm. Her face was stress free as she gave me a soft smile; I suppose she could mask her emotions better than most of us.

"Your friends are here... do you want to see them?" She asked cautiously. I could sense the unasked question in her tone will you freak out again? It was the end of the school day when I got the call about the fire; the nurse had said he was in an extremely critical and that she couldn't share much information over the phone. I had heard some distant shouting and she said she had to go and I should try and make it to the hospital as soon as possible. After the phone call, I completely lost it. I was sick with worry and hadn't gotten much sleep that night which lead to a total meltdown. I shook my head as if that would help me erase the thought.

"Send them in." I told her, I was determined to keep my composure today. She opened the door a little further and I was greeted with the faces of my two closest friends, Brynn and Cara. They both wore fake smiles as if they couldn't tell whether they should come closer or just linger in the doorway. I put on my bravest face, I could do this.

"Hey guys!" I chirped. They shot each other a glance before walking into the room. I hated how cautious they were being, it made me feel terrible.

"Is everything okay?" Cara asked softly as I plastered a smile on to my face.

"I'm fine." I assured them. I wanted to cringe at how peppy my voice was. Suddenly I couldn't breathe not today I thought, I wasn't going to let my emotions spill over... I have to stay strong. "Actually, I'm ready now let's go down." I tried not to run out of the room as I brushed past them. They hadn't moved as I went to walk down the stairs. "Coming?" I asked before racing down the steps trying to keep my breaths at a steady pace.

I could do this.

----☆----

I made it through the entire day without a single breakdown. During the funeral service I had shed a few tears but I think I did well. I told myself I'd be strong tonight, this was my first night living with my grandmother and I'm not about to ruin it. As I walk up the stairs I feel the lone rebel fall out of my eye and I hurriedly wipe it with the back of my sleeve.

I practically sprinted to the door before slamming it shut and falling against the frame. I felt myself start hyperventilating and I tried not to panic. I felt my body involuntarily shake and knew what was coming next. I closed my eyes letting the tears come as I sobbed quietly.

"Why did you leave me?" I whispered tucking my knees under myself and crying out.

Why wasn't I home? I could've stopped this I could've-

I let out a gut wrenching sob as I threw the closest thing I had, my jewelry box. It was salvaged from the wreckage of my old house, the sides almost completely charred. When it hit the wall the whole thing broke apart in a sickening crumble.

I crawled over to it, my vision blurring with tears as I cautiously moved the wooden pieces aside making sure not to cut myself. I sniffed picking up the Polaroid style photo of my father and I, it was dark around the edges but the photo was still clear.

Silent tears slid down my cheeks as I stared at the image. It was taken almost 10 years ago. He looked so young but you could see the exhaustion behind his eyes. He was still adjusting to caring for me on his own and it took a huge toll on him. From underneath everything else I saw a gleaming red jewel, pushing the photo aside I reached under the mirror shards and picked up my mother's locket. I don't know why I still had the damn thing, it's not like my mother still cared about me. Why did I still hold onto something of hers so dearly?

I turned it around in my hand; I pulled my thumb back from the gem and saw a streak of blood on it. I must've cut myself on the glass. I balled the necklace up into my palm and lay against the cold wood on my floor. I tried to slow my breathing down as I shut my eyes and finally gave in and let the grief completely wash over me.

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Author's Note

I promise chapters aren't always gonna be this short, this is just the beginning :) Maybe Vote & Comment opinions? It's greatly appreciated -Meag