always thinking about you.

First day back.

Today is my first day back at school this year, its year eleven so it my last ever year of school but everyone else went back around two months ago, whereas I have been...lets just say busy with some other things. I'm no longer on the same side of the year as my brother Tom which unnerves me a little as that's never happened to me before but he seems to think I'll be fine " because Tanners in loads of your classes" but I truly do not know how that is meant to calm my nerves in the slightest. I mean in my mind I'm thinking "oh you mean that stranger that always in my house"...how calming. Tanner is my brothers best friend and that has been the case since we were tiny but although they are both inseparable.He also basically lives at our house but he pure has little to nothing to do with me, I swear to you the most contact we have is when he obnoxiously stares at me and when he hits on my friends and I have to tell him to excuse us whilst we go out and that no he cant come with.

Its 8:00 am and I'm almost ready to leave to meet to meet my best-friend Elliot and yes shes a girl. I'm almost ready as I've got my uniform on and brushed my teeth, I always catch a ride with Elliot ever since I moved to this house in year seven and we became best friends because she lives like 2 roads away. Obviously Tom goes to school with his friends and even more obviously he meets Tanner en route.  I quickly pack my bag, throwing in a pen, bottle of water and my planner book and luckily because its just my first day back i don't need to find all my books which is just as well because I'm already 2 minutes behind which means i have only 8 minutes to get my keys, lock up and walk to Elliot's and the walk alone takes 10. I grab my coffee which Tom kindly left me when he left which i want to appreciate but i know he only did it because he knew I'd be late, so is it even a kind gesture? and head out the door.

I meet Elliot outside the shops at the end of my road and her family greets me with many excited hellos and good lucks as I jump in the car and we head off for the 20 minute drive. I'm extremely close with Elliot's family, especially her mum and you could say shes my second mum but in all honesty I see her as my first becuase my parents have nothing to do with me and Tom, except for paying so the bills which keep me and Tom as far away from them as possible. I can tell her anything and shes helped me so much through these last few months especially with sorting out the school arrangements and with me doing all my work from the comfort of  my own home, which I'm truly wishing i could be back at right now. But any way this day had to come at some point and it just turns out that today is that day and it will truly start in about two minutes when i jump out of the nice cosy warm car and right into the large confining metal gates of my school. I try to keep myself calm and tell myself that its fine because i will 100% see Elliot and Tom at break and if worst really does come to worst I'm sure that Tanner wouldn't be that much of a preck as to refuse to help and anyway Elliot's not my only friend, yes i did lose allot of those who used to mean the world to me over the last few months but at least now I know my true ones.

The car pulls up outside the gates and Elliot gets out first, turning back to give me a reassuring glance before I follow in  her footsteps and clamber out and shout a grateful thank you to her mum. I pull my bag onto my shoulder and look around me, taking in the fact that I'm finally back here - a place i truly never thought I'd see again. I get a few looks whilst walking into the building but whilst i thought my day would be filled with stares, sniggers and whispers about the various story that had been created in regards to my absence, its actually just many smiles and "welcome back"s. I turn the corner and see Tom and Tanner standing outside my locker, Tom tells me he'll take me to the office to collect my new timetable so that Elliot can head to her first period lesson, I question why Elliot has to go but Tannrr - who has nothing to do with this situation can stay? But I'm not planning on making a scene so i keep my thoughts to myself, hug Elliot goodbye and head towards the office with them both. On the short walk down the corridor to the main office Tom asks me a countless amount of questions about my day and if im being honest I'd say that he's more nervous than me. I had the option to start off with just half days back and slowly work up to a full school day but i insisted on going straight back to a full day because i just want everything to go back to normal but Tom doesn't agree and i know he think its a pretty awful decision so hes unknowingly put on his protective brother mind today.. or should i say his even more than usual protective brother mind? After what happened last time i was back here Toms barely taken his eye off me, but he cant help it and I know that if it were the other way round id most likely be exactly the same.We arive at the office and they give me my timetable which Tom takes and immediately starts analyzing and apparently I have Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Modern History with Tanner which makes no difference to me but seems to have a calming effect on Tom. Tanner then announces that we have Chemistry 3rd and Physics 5th  and there the only lessons we have together today and then they both agree that we've already missed the majority of 1st so theres no point going and also include me in this plan so we head to the back of the school, where theres no cameras to sit for the next 15 minutes before 2nd.