When I was 17, I learned something here in life. Not what you usually think a 17 year old would learn. No, I learned something entirely different.
I was sitting on a bench in the park. It was cold outside. The frost had been setting in the last weeks. My parkas had been digged out of the closet a week ago. I had been sitting there for a little while now. It wasn’t like I had anything else to do. Fia, my one and only friend was at home, being sick.
Then my phone went off, giving me a beep sound. Guess it’s Fia who wants someone to cheer her up. I pulled my phone out of one of the many pockets in my jacket. Tapping the screen to see the message, smiling to myself. As I read the text, I could feel my grin fading. I stood up abruptly, making my feet work. Letting them carry me to a secret place. I wanted an abandoned place, hallow, but narrow. I wanted to be alone. But where do you find something like that in the city? I knew of one place. I let my feet carry me there.
As I run, I can see the trees and paths blur, and the wind takes a hold of my hair, whipping it in my face. Normally I hated when that happened, but not today. Today it suited me just fine.
I got there fast. It was just as I remembered. Falling down to my knees, leaning against the rock wall, I relaxed a bit. It was colder here, wet and dark. Dark as the night. It was dark above me, underneath me and around me. Not that it mattered. I wasn’t here to see anything.
I could finally let my thoughts leap free, let them consume me. And I couldn’t believe it. It just couldn’t be true. Not Fia, not her. But knowing her parents, it was. They never joked about anything, and at least not something as severe as this.
I had talked to you a for a couple of hours ago. You had sounded fine. Sounded like yourself, happy and laughing. But not anymore. Why didn’t you tell me there was something wrong? I would have understood. But I couldn’t handle the thought of this. It just hurt to much.
Now everything looked bleak. Dark. The whole future is gone. I got nothing now. I can’t og through this and still live to see another day. I cannot keep on doing all the stuff we did. It belonged to us, and us alone.
And, what about your family? What’s going to happen to them? Did you ever think about that? They must have been shocked when they understood what you have done. They won’t get over this, they love you too much to. How could you do this? It’s going to mark them for as long as they live.
Not only them and me, but the whole city. You where the shining star. Everybody love you, and you know that. The whole city will be shocked to learn this.
I can hear the birds squeak outside, and I wonder to myself how they can do that? It’s not a time for squeaking. It’s a time for silence and sorrow. Not some happy noises.
My questions to you is buzzing inside of my head, making me insane. Feeling like I’m losing grip on reality. Because this can’t be reality. My reality is with you, not in this place where no one knows. But, they keep on buzzing, swirling around until I can’t take it anymore.
I get up on my feet again, running back to the park. It has gotten dark outside while I was hiding. I hadn’t noticed that the time had gone so fast. I end up running into an old man and it knocks me over. I look up at him, a bit pissed off. His old and dirty jeans are torn, his shirt is ripped and he looks like he needs a bath. His hair is dangling in his face and he smiled down at me, revealing a toothless mouth. Smiling? Did he just smile at a day like this?
I get up again, running further. I don’t want to be anywhere near anyone anymore. I want to be alone. I want to follow you. My phone vibrates in my pocket, but I leave it alone. I don’t want to talk to someone. I don’t want to talk to someone ever again. I’ve had enough. Fia, if you hear me, know that I will follow you. I will follow you, just wait for me.
A.N:
This is a story I wrote 3 years ago, so please be kind. I know it’s not the best one-shot in the world.
Thank you
