Distance

Skype snuggles

"Goodnight babe I love you can you stay on skype? " I say while hoping you say yes so I can watch you slip into your dreams wishing I'm in them. 

As I watch you sleep from behind a screen, my heart grows heavy.

I look at the space beside you;
the empty space, the creases on the sheet, cold and unused.
and all I think about is how it should be replaced with my body.
How your hair should have my nose nuzzled into it.
How my breath should have created a warm patch on the back of your neck as we float off to dream land with our bodies intertwined

On this Summers day, there's lots of things that should be.
And one of those is you and me.

  Your eyes are so much like an ocean that Its waves catch me in the undertow every time. Every sea I've traveled before you has swallowed me whole... and I lost myself in the murky abyss. I never liked paddling up to the surface when I ran out of breath and desperately needed air. But fuck - I think I've finally learned how to swim. I find it hard to describe what you do to me, the way you make my head spin and the whole world turn fuzzy. Words cannot express why or how you do it, you make my whole body go numb time and time again as I find myself unable to gain control. I am under your surrender, vulnerable at best your touch has left me breathless, my heart lying naked where yours now belongs. your mouth is my muse, my favorite song stuck on repeat. The weight of your body on mine, strong arms keeping me safe and making me feel sacred, ruffled hair and heavy kisses, mussed sheets that smell like sweat and you, always you, I breathe you in until you fill my lungs, my veins, my soul, Whispered "I miss you's" and the feel of your chest rising and falling against my back, a safe fort of pillows and resting my head against you as your fingers run through my hair. 

A safe place  

  I think we were born in alternate universes, cross star lovers never meant to meet from the start.
All I know is I've been sensing you all my life, I feel you, I miss you, and in many ways I know you, and think of you all the time.
I've been ready to go since I was born, just delaying, buying time hoping to be at the right place and time...No such luck for me and you.
You are a missing piece, and time is running for me...Perhaps next life, since at least in this we were never meant to be. 

  give second chances.
give third
and forth
and fifth chances.
give every piece of your heart,
and when it is returned to you,
give it again.
give compliments.
give gifts.
give the speech you have been practicing
over and over again in your head.
give your passion.
give your wisdom.
give your story.
give to those who do not deserve it,
receive nothing in return,
and give some more.
give shelter.
give love.
give hope.
give every part of you;
every inch,
every beauty mark,
every scar.
give yourself to the universe,
and when you are gone,

it will give you back.  

That's how you become free. 

I love you and we have yet to meet.