The Silver Bracelet

Chapter Six

*Rose's POV*

It's really hard covering up bruises.

No amount of makeup could cover the green-blue-purple blobs splattering my arms, legs and face.

But I tried.

I wasn't allowed to wear any cosmetics like eyeliner, lipgloss, mascara, etc. but when the Incidents started happening I bought a high end, top-quality foundation to cover everything.

I hid it under my dresser in a little alcove I had carved out to keep my important possessions safe: pictures of my mom, emergency mascara, the silver bracelet Clara got for both me and Amanda for our birthdays, and my father's pocket watch that he received as a wedding gift from my mother. I'm not sure if he remembers that he gave it to me.

I wouldn't give it back though anyway.

I tried to cover my bruises as best I could with the foundation. I glanced at my eyes, my bright green eyes, that pierced through the mirror. I examined my blonde locks that reflected the light. It was all so...odd. It was odd that I resembled neither my mother nor my father even though I'm positive that I'm not adopted. It's odd because in a weird way, I almost see what my friends mean when they say that I'm pretty. It was so odd.

It was also odd that Cam broke up with me.

I mean I'm not self-centered or anything, but I did really think that I was kind of attractive until Cam immediately broke off our "relationship".

For the most part it was mutual just because I felt we didn't click. And up to this point that's what I assumed he felt as well. But now...

Was there something wrong with me?

*Amanda's POV*

I knocked on the huge, metal door of the community center. It was already getting warm outside and becoming more damp. The posies and daisies were blossoming along the pond and the huge trees in the park. After running over to the park my hair had dried to it's natural wavy texture so I threw it up in a quick bun.

"WELCOME, AMANDA, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!" squealed Mrs. Sotheby as she flung open the door. She was the leader of YG who set up all the meetings and events.

As I entered the room, I noticed a new layout of tables. Mrs. Sotheby took pride in her creative freedom for YG and she never failed to make something artsy for us all.

There were four color tables as usual: blue, green, red, and purple, all arranged around the head table where Mrs. Sotheby, Miss Carol and Miss Anna sat.

Scanning the room, I looked for Cam and there he was, waving his tan arm in the air.

Well, I couldn't pretend I didn't see him. So, I shuffled over to the blue table. Basically, we're assigned different tables every week and we do jobs with that group for the community. For some reason, Cam and I were always at the same table. He was wearing his blue Captain America graphic shirt. He grinned at me.

I sat down beside him and looked around at my group this week and silently groaned. We consisted of Alex White, Charlie Simmons, Lauren Harrison, me, and Cam.

Alex was probably the weirdest person that I've ever met. Once, YG went on a long trip into New York and Cam dropped an M&M on the ground of the subway station. But that didn't bother Alex. He ate it anyway.

Charlie was a little better but he was one of those guys who would rather draw war scenes on his paper and play Battleship. He was friendly with Cam but not like I was. It was nice though for Cam to have at least one guy friend even if he was a total weirdo.

I think everyone loved Lauren. She was like a sister to me and she always made me and Cam laugh. The only problem was that she couldn't concentrate on a single task even if her life depended on it.

Mrs. Sotheby stood up at the head table and told us all to quiet down. She began assigning us tasks for the day.

"...and blue group will be in charge of litter clean up."

And with that, we all groaned.

*Clara's POV*

Razors are strange objects.

I mean, they're these tiny, delicate fragments of metal and yet they can do more damage to someone than a gun can.

A gun ends the pain. A razor amplifies it.

And yet, I can't keep my hands off of them.

The worst part is that I don't know why I do it. It's like an outlet. Some people eat, others cry, and many actually control themselves.

But I have no control. Something sets me off and I reach for a blade. I start realizing what I am and I grab a blade. It seems that the only way I solve my problems these days is through these ridiculous metal fragments.

Some may say that it's a sign if recovery when one realizes that the one thing that they thought was making them better is really only making them worse. But I know that what I'm doing is wrong.

I don't care.

I deserve it.

My ridiculous, chubby body deserves it. It deserves the pain because it houses the one thing that is slowly killing me: my mind.

I'm not good enough, nor will I ever be. People say that with beauty comes pain. But I feel as though it's more the lack of beauty that causes the most pain. Like I said, I deserve it.

My jackets and sweaters cover my wounds but with summer nearing I've become more aware of other people's awareness. I try my best to avoid my thighs around the end of February and mostly on areas that are easier to hide. I've convinced Rose that I'm cold 99 percent of the time so she rarely questions the long sleeves and sweatshirts in the middle of summer.

I told Amanda too. But I don't think she believes me.

And that fucking scares me so much.

Amanda is my best friend and I know that if I tell she will be more than willing to help me. But the problem is, sometimes she tries to help too much, even with small things. And I don't really want her input on how to save myself.

I'm hopeless.

I'm helpless

And I refuse to be otherwise.