Fly Me to the Moon

Fly me to the moon,

It’s snowing and I’m out at the plaza two days before Christmas. The stores are bright and full of seasonal decorations. The air smells crisp and cozy as a breeze of hot cocoa and firewood swirls through the atmosphere. People swarm the sidewalks rushing to finish their holiday shopping. I’m dressed warmly in my knit ensemble of my favorite matching cream colored beanie and sweater. I have a fresh cup of cocoa in my hands in an attempt to keep me warm.

Let me play among the stars

          I find myself humming along to the old Frank Sinatra song as it plays over the plaza sound system.

Let me see what spring is like

On a-Jupiter and Mars

          As I near the edge of the plaza, I can see a figure all alone and sitting on a bench turned away from the busy crowds. I decide to join the hooded boy. Besides, who doesn’t love a little Christmas spirit?

In other words, hold my hand

In other words, baby, kiss me

          I make my way to the bench and sit down next to the boy. When I’m next to him, he distances himself from me. I don’t say anything.

Fill my heart with song and

Let me sing forever more

          “So,” I ask him, “How are you?” He doesn’t respond. I try again, “What are you doing all the way over here? Don’t you want to be in the Christmas spirit?” He makes a soft whimpering sound. I scoot closer and look at his face. He isn’t much older than me. Perhaps he’s a senior in high school. I can see tears reflecting lights on his cheeks. “What’s wrong hon?” I put my arm around his shoulder and this time, he just breaks down into a full blown sob. I set my cocoa on the ground so that I can try to comfort him and he lets me.

You are all I long for

All I worship and adore

          “I-I-I d-don’t even kn-n-now you. Why are you b-being so n-nice?” he stammers. I just hug him, “It doesn’t matter, what’s wrong?” I let go and he wipes his tears. He opens up his jacket and starts to take something out. I hold my breath. I don’t like where this is going.

In other words, please be true

          It’s a gun. He pulls out a gun. My stomach clenches and my heart starts pounding. Please don’t be a killer. I try to stay calm and ask what he’s doing with it, but no words are coming out. I feel like I’ve just been put in an iceberg. I can’t move and my mouth is hanging open like a fish.

In other words, I love you

          “I was just about to end it when you showed up,” he says. “End what?” I manage to choke out. He hesitates and seems to be struggling with the next words. “I-I want to die.”

Fill my heart with song

          Suddenly, it all clicks. I can save him, “Please don’t, there are always people that care and you’re never alone.” He shrugs and a single tear falls from his eye. I watch it as it gets stuck on his chin. It sits there refusing to fall onto the snow beneath his feet. “You are important to this world. It may not look like it now, but give it time and everything will fall into place. Please, you are important.”

Let me sing forever more

          The tear finally comes off and creates a dark spot on the clean white bed of snow. He looks me in the eyes and I can see something. I see a glimmer of hope. “You can make a difference in this world and I know that you are a very unique and amazing person. I don’t even have to know you to tell. Please, if you’re looking for a sign to keep fighting, this is it.”

You are all I long for

          He looks down at the gun in his hands and slowly turns it over. Once, twice, then puts it away. I can breathe easier now. “Thank you,” he says, “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” He is no longer crying. I smile, “Anytime you ever need to talk.” He gives me a look I don’t know. I can’t read it. He starts to lean in.

All I worship and I adore

          He’s getting closer and I think I know what’ll happen next.

In other words, please be true

          He kisses me and I let him.

In other words

In other words, I, love, you

          By the time he stood up and had long walked away smiling, I was still in a daze and looking at where he had sat moments ago. I shake my head to try and get back in the moment, but the dizziness is still there. My stomach if exploding with butterflies and I feel strangely warm. I slowly bend over to pick up my hot cocoa, lean back and cross my legs. The snow is falling so gracefully and I find myself humming again as I gaze off into the stars.