The Thoughts from My Head

You Are My Sunshine

Everything was going right in the day. Sunny skies, birds chirping, and I got job promotion. I was so excited to tell him. I could almost see the look on his face, big blue eyes lighting up and the goofy grin that I loved so much.
I was turning off the highway into our neighborhood when all of the sudden I felt myself swerve and my vision was filled by a sudden burst of white. Then the pain started. I could feel it in my left side and chest as I found that breathing was more painful and difficult than it should be. Strangely I couldn't feel my legs at all.
"What the hell?" I said shakily. What just happened? I looked out the windshield and saw it was cracked. A tree was right outside of it. Then I saw the crumpled passenger seat next to me. Oh my god... I've just been hit... I've got to call Tom.. I realize as I struggle to pull my phone out of my pocket. The screen was cracked and I could barely use it.
"Damn it.." I curse as I cut my hand on the broken edge of it. I try turning it on and miraculously it does. Must've been the case that cut me. Thank gosh it still works. Kinda. Damn it I can't see what I'm doing too much blood from my hand. What's that smell? Oh no am I burning... I press and hold the home button with my finger. Siri pops up and asks me what to do. "Call, Tom." I say between gasps.
"Alright calling Tom." I hear the robotic voice say and then a faint ringing can be heard. I pushed the button to put it on speaker. Now the ringing noise was louder.
"Come on Tom pick up..." I say nearly in tears.
"Hello?" I hear him say from the other end.
"Hey Tom, come to the exit into our neighborhood, I'm hurt badly. Please come quickly." I say through labored breaths and coughs.
"Oh my gosh Cassie I'm coming hold on baby." He says instantly with a worried tone.
I hear the car start up over the phone.
"What happened Cass? Keep talking to me as much as you can." He says his tone more calmed now. Probably to comfort me.
"I don't really know," I say with a sharp gasp. "I was turning. Then the airbags popped up in my face. I think I was hit."
"I'm right behind the car Cass. More people are showing up. I see someone else on their phone. I'm coming. Stay right there." I hear him say over the phone and right beside me with the last word. The door opens and I see his worried face right in the opening.
"Tom please help me. I can't feel my legs." I say before a big coughing fit. "I think the other car is burning."
"Yeah it is. Here grab on to my neck." He says before releasing the seatbelt and carrying me out into a yard being as careful as he can not to shift me.
"Don't look away from me Cass. I'm here. Stay awake. I know you're probably feeling tired. Just stay awake. You can't fall asleep." Tom says looking straight into my eyes only glancing down at my legs every once in awhile.
He was right. I was feeling tired. I tried to listen. But it was getting hard.
"Hey guess what? I got promoted today." I say in order to try and lighten the mood.
"That's great Cass. Really great. Now we can finally move to a bigger house."
He says looking down at my legs more often and over his shoulder at who knows what.
I looked down at my legs and saw another person attempting to get a sheet or something around them. But it was getting all red.
"Am I bleeding very badly?" I ask Tom looking back at him. "Don't lie to me. I want to know."
A look of sadness crosses his face. "Yeah you are Cass. But you need to stay awake for a few more minutes. The paramedics are almost here."
"I'll try Tom. But it's getting hard." I say feeling light headed.
He looked like he was about to cry.
"Don't cry Tom, I'll be okay." I say before starting to sing, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." I pause coughing.
"You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you." I sing with him joining me.
"Please don't take, my sunshine away." I hear him say as my vision starts to fade to black.
"I love you, don't be afraid to do what makes you happy," I say with my last breaths.

Tom's POV
"No no nO NO!" I yell as I see a blank expression cross her face.
"CASS WAKE UP! Please Cass wake up. I can't go on without you." I say tears streaming down my face and I do chest compressions. Damn it I'm a trained medic and I can't even save my own wife! Come on Cassie wake up! This is my fault I didn't do anything I should have helped her, it's my fault. Two hundred compressions later and her heart still isn't going.
"Come on Cass! Please..." I say still trying to get her to wake up.
I faintly hear sirens in the distance. "DAMN IT WHY!!!" I scream before crumpling over her body. I feel tears run down my face, and a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry that we couldn't get here sooner. They've put the fire in the larger vehicle out. Looks like the smaller one got most of the damage though." The person the hand belongs to says. I recognize him as a respiratory therapist from the hospital.
I look over at the crash through the tears on my face, and take it in fully for the first time. Cassie's car was destroyed, it being a small Impala. The front end had smashed into a tree after it looks like the much larger Jeep Wrangler smashed into the passenger side window. The Jeep's front end was crumpled in, but nowhere near as bad as Cassie's car was in the tree. I looked back at Cassie's body lying on the ground. Why did this happen to me, things were going great. She was my everything. Why oh why Cass...
I watched them take her body away for an autopsy. I wanted to try and stop them, but I couldn't. I was frozen in place. After they left I guess I had been yelling those thoughts out loud, because my throat was sore.
Afterwords I went home and tried to do something but I just couldn't. Everything reminded me of her and I couldn't do it. I froze in place when I tried. I got out of the house and back into my car and just drove. I didn't know where I was going or how long is been out. But somehow I ended up back at my house. I pulled out my phone and called my parents. With a shaky voice I told them, "Hey mom, dad," Deep breath. "Cassie's just been hit by a car when she was driving home and she." My voice cracked. "Didn't make it." I say before breaking down again.
I hear my parents instantly try and comfort me from over the line but I didn't hear a word they were saying. I hear them say something before the line clicking a little bit later. I look through my phone and find some videos with Cass in them. I listen to them over and over until my phone dies. I don't know how long I sat in that car. I didn't hear the car drive up. Or anyone get out of it for that matter. Then I hear a knock on my window. It's my parents. I open the door and get out before falling into their arms.
"Oh Thomas honey I'm so sorry. It wasn't her time." My mom says to me.
We all go inside our, no my, house.

A couple of days later
It's the night after her funeral. After seeing them put her body into the ground I accepted that she was gone. It had been a guy who was texting on his phone who hit her. He didn't notice his speed was going up. And he also didn't see Cassie turning in front of him. She was in the clear last he looked up. The next time he looked up she was right in front of him. He had apologized so much to me and my family and asked what he could do to make it up to us. I said nothing but put your phone down when you're driving. Don't let someone else's heart get broken. I was laying in bed remembering her last words to me. I love you. Don't be afraid to do what makes you happy. She had said. I'm trying Cass. Maybe not right now but soon. I'll always hold you in my heart.
I thought.
"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping,
I dreamed I held you in my arms. But when I woke dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried." I sung softly.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, Maybe I'll find some sunshine again."

Word Count: 1589