APPETENCE (Bucky Barnes // Marvel)

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE.

"I know it's gonna take some time
but I've got to admit
that the thought has crossed my mind
this might end up like it should."

~~~

The sun had dimmed considerably by the time I got onto the train. The vast sky looked as though it were a battle field between light and dark; violet hues and thick clouds struggling with the sun's vibrant rays, which continued to shine through despite the sky falling into nautical twilight.

I let my head rest on the window, the scenery passing by in a rapid blur as the train moved forward. Large and open fields were quickly replaced with the standard 1940′s buildings, blending into one another. I glanced at my trembling hands, the previous nerves I thought I had expelled rising in the depths of my stomach again. I shook my head and silently cursed myself for agreeing to this. I hadn't been on a date in centuries, and even though I wanted to keep it that way, I just couldn't say no to Steve. He made the date seem promising, and reassured me that his best friend, Bucky Barnes was a great man with endearing qualities and strong morals. I was originally going to decline his offer, however, I was afraid of disappointing my only friend, so, I reluctantly agreed.

I thought I would be able to jump back into that mindset, the one that entailed having fun and letting loose. However, three significant reasons as to why I was unable to achieve that desired mind frame consumed my train of thought.

One, blood was an intrinsic aspect to my well-being, the source keeping me safe from desiccation.

Two, one of the 'perks' of my existence included excessive speed and strength, as well as overpowering emotions that could control and initiate any physical response they saw fit. Thus, nervousness could produce a certain reaction that would undoubtedly be frowned upon in any society.

And three, I was completely and explicitly immortal, and have been for over 2000 years.

Amongst other things, those were the top reasons as to why I was commonly known as the recluse more than anything else. No one knew about the monster that hid underneath my bronzed skin, or resided behind my grey eyes, which had specks of gold mixed within. Neither did I stay in one place for long as the secrecy of my deadly lifestyle was of utmost importance. Although being detached from society made me miserable, it kept people safe from the evil that lived inside.

And that assurance was all I needed.

However, I adopted human aspects into my frozen life; eating delicious food and enjoying the artistic freedom of music, writing and art. My house was full of paintings and endless pages of writing, the piano in the corner of the lounge room being used every single day. It was a source of comfort; it helped me feel at ease with myself. Nevertheless, as long as my human essence was intact, the desire for interaction and relationships grew stronger. There was a darkness inside me, one that was locked in a cage, kept away for the good of humanity. I constantly struggled with my true nature, as feelings and mortal emotion felt strange; abnormal. But the more I grew accustomed to it, the more I desired a place in the world.

And that craving ultimately brought me to my current predicament.

My eyes fluttered to a close as the conversation between Steve and I replayed in my head.

"So um, are you busy on Friday night?" Steve asked when we received our pizza.

"I'm never busy," I sighed with a raised eyebrow, quickly taking a piece of cheese pizza before sinking into my seat. "Why do you ask?"

Steve looked around the compact diner, which was full of all kinds of people; families, couples, friends, elderly. I waited patiently for his response, eagerly biting into my slice of pizza.