My lovely old feelings

The morning dew glistened as she woke up to a quiet silence. She let out a sigh and watched her blonde hair wisp around with the wind. She wondered how her friends were doing, with their new boyfriends and other friends. She twirled a blade of grass around her finger and watched a ladybug land on her thigh. She turned her head to look at the dark, looming house she belonged in. She quickly turned away and sighed. She didn't want to be in there. She let out a short rasp as her throat tightens. She should be with her best friend right now. But, then again, you can never know who your true best friends are. She sighed, thinking about how wonderful it would be to die here in such a quiet, peaceful, place. She felt no pain here, no stress, no sadness. She blinked up at the rising sun and turned away, closing her eyes away from reality. The cool morning breeze began to mix with the humid summer haze of the afternoon. She had slept late, after fits of tossing, crying, and screaming at herself last night. She watched through a hole in the bushes as a girl walked by, talking on the phone with a smile on her face. She wished she could do that, smile and talk without a care in the world. But that was the old her, and she doesnt exist anymore.