H.I.C.C.

Chapter 16: Those Three Words

Jess' smile is the biggest on the planet in this moment. She looks at the two figures in front of her, gaping at each other with mouths open. They don't seem to grasp what the other just said. Because they just said exactly what the other had said. They are unsure who should start. L's heart is aching strongly. She knows that the person in front of her just proclaimed her love on first sight. It hurts extremely. She wishes that Jen would say it WITH her memories. Jen on the other hand seems to understand that she has known the person in front of her before, and that it must be painful to love someone that isn't who you think it is. "I-I..." She wants to say something. "B-But.. But I don't remember you, even though you clearly remember me... Will that work?"
Jess sighs. She steps towards them, grabs the back of their heads and forces them closely together. Jen and L are surprised, they are now just a couple of centimetres away from each other.
"How about you two eggheads just kiss, and try to solve the memory problem together?

As a couple?"

There's a knock on the door. Elias doesn't look up from his desk as he calls: "Come in."
"Lieutenant-Commander Connor, Lieutenant McCann asked me to give you these." Elias leans back in his chair and looks at the man entering his office. "Alright, thanks Ensign Roberts." After the other has left, Elias sighs and looks at the documents. 'More paperwork, eh? Can't wait to get back out to sea.' He looks outside the window. He is still very puzzled. How could his daughter lose her memories? In the hospital, after everyone was asked to leave, she had called out to him and talked to him for a good ten minutes. Alone. And he was one of the only fragments that were left. She remembered his name, but not that he was her father. Just a few other things were still there. She remembered he had taken her to an aircraft carrier. But not that she flew in a fighter, or even that it was with someone else. It was just so confusing. What made her remember the things around him, but not around the person that saved her from the "no-friends" horror? Or was there for her when that brat Mark assaulted her for the first time? That had been the second shock. After Jen lost her memories, L couldn't keep her mouth shut anymore. She had to tell her parents that Jen had been assaulted. Elias slammed his fist on the table and cursed. The door opened immediately and his colleague and friend, Lieutenant Brian Douglass, entered the room while yelling "What's wrong, Sir?" Elias rubbed his hand. "Nothing, it's just my daughter again, Brian." The Lieutenant looked to the side for a brief moment. "Sorry to hear that, Sir." "It's not your fault, Lieutenant. Speaking of my daughter, I have to pick her up now." "Drive Carefully, Sir." He saluted. Elias saluted back.
"Thanks, Lieutenant."

L and Jen don't know for how long, but it felt like an eternity. When they finally separate their mouths, they look deep into each others eyes. L wants to believe that Jen's feelings are sincere. But the doubt is just still too strong. She turns away. "I'm sorry, I just can't." And with those words, she runs off. Jen staggers back, then sits down on a bench. Jess shakes her head and looks after L. Then she looks at Jen. "It's not your fault." Jen wipes away a tear. "I know..." She whispers.

I keep running. My throat is sore, my eyes are burning, and my chest is extremely painful. Not because of the ribs. I just feel a strong burn. It's close to unbearable, and it makes me want to scream. I take my hand in front of my mouth just in case. When I reach my home, I slam the door shut, and with a thud I tumble back against the door and stand there, looking at the ceiling. I hear footsteps. "Sis?" It's Nina. I curse silently. If anyone, she'll immediately find out the truth. She just has that one way of getting it out of me. It's what I love and hate most about having a sibling. They always know... She comes closer. "Sis, what's wrong? You look pale." Fuck... "I..." My face feels extremely hot. It embarrasses me. I put my hands in front of my face and sink to the floor. "I confessed to Jen." Tears build up. Nina doesn't say a word. All she does is walk up to me, squat, hug me and pet my back. It feels like my wounds are being healed. But I know it's only the feeling.

I open the door to what is supposed to be my home. "I'm back.." I say, unenthusiastically. The woman that's my mother comes to the door and embraces me, but I can feel her sad aura. "Welcome home, sweetheart." I return the hug. I want to feel something, but I just can't. Which in turn makes me feel depressed. "I confessed to someone, and they confessed to me at the same time." My dad heard it. "Oh, someone said those three words to you?" I nod. My mother and father now both smile. "That's amazing, darling, who was it?" I gulp. Can I really say it?

"It was a girl."

Elias and Kate look at each other. Then at their daughter. "A girl?" Jen nods again, now red like a tomato, looking to the floor. Her mother then suddenly laughs and a tear of joy flows down her cheek. "Oh sweetie, that's nothing to be ashamed of! Love knows no boundaries, no frontiers. I'm still happy for you!" Elias' smile seems to break his face. "I already know who it is." He says.

"I always knew she was special to you."

The next day, L is standing in front of the door to the house of her... well... girlfriend. She struggles to ring. Just before she touches the bell, the door opens, and Jen steps out. "O-oh, m-morning." She blushes. "Mornin'." L replies, gulping. "So, let's go?" Jen asks quickly. L nods. And so the make their way towards their school. The atmosphere is tense, and both are unsure what to do. The situation feels extremely awkward to both of them. They walk in silence for a few minutes.
Then, suddenly, L grabs Jen's hand.

The sudden urge to hold her hand arises within me, but I refrain from doing it. I don't know if I'm allowed to. And I am too shy to ask. Too shy to admit my feelings. I feel terrible. I can't even admit that I love a person that could die any moment.

A scream escapes Jen's mouth. She grabs her left template with her free hand, and her right hand squeezes L's. L immediately grabs Jen's shoulder and supports her. "What's wrong??" She asks, almost in a panic-like state. Jen is shivering. "N-nothing... I... I think I just had a flash back. It felt horrible. I-I don't know what it means... I feel so weak." L hugs her. "It's alright. Don't worry about it."

I escort Jen towards our school. Her facial expression screams "emotional terror". Just what has she remembered? Something with Mark? I can't ask her... I fear she could collapse. I don't want to shock her.

The gates of the school are not far now. Jen and L are a little too early. L shakes her head in amusement. She used to be just in time or late mostly. Jen has changed her so much. It actually scares her a bit. But she doesn't want to think about it too much. Finally, the gates are in sight. But what the hell? It couldn't be...

"Good morning you two, been a while. Ready to go to class?"

L's facial expression turns to furious. And Jen's to fearful. L grits her teeth as she hisses:

"Michael..."