"What happens when you take a lion out of the Safari and try to take him home to your place of residence and make him a house pets? It ain't going to happen. That's the type of person that I am. I'm that lion."
-Cam Newton
Who am I? If someone were to ask this to my friends and family they would most likely say, "A skinny, white kid from Florida whose name is Tylar Aswell". I am a skinny, white kid from Florida, but that is just a description, and Tylar Aswell is just a name. That is not who I really am. I ask myself the same question,"Who am I?"... How does one define who they are? Is it their personality, their demeanor, their outlook on life, or how they present themselves in public? I do not know who I am, that is still unknown to me. I am a nobody for now, a nameless face in a crowd. One thing I do know is, I know who I want to be; I want to be charismatic, but not overwhelming, successful, but lacking the self righteous attitude that usually follows, and brave, because I want to be able to over come any obstacle head on without fear.
Today is my birthday, my eighteenth birthday to be more precise and being eighteen promises freedom, freedom to find myself. The eighteen years I have lived I have done absolutely nothing. Even using the word lived is an overstatement. Lived is a word of fulfillment, satisfaction, and enjoyment. In the dictionary the word means, "To gain a livelihood". Have I done that? No, I have not.
My life consists of expectation. Expectation to be a sheep, to abide by every demand that was asked of me, without question. However, that is not me. I am a monstrous, but beautiful Lion confined in a cage. Much like the Lion, I too have been contained my whole life and kept in captivity. I have been held back and punished for the,"What could happen?"
People are afraid of the unknown. Afraid of what the Lion is capable of. The Lion, hence the name, "King of the jungle" has so much power and strength. If it were to escape or be set free it has the choice to do terrible or spectacular things, but more often it's choices are made for it and it is never given the chance to prove itself deemed worthy. I am the Lion.
My life consists of decisions that are not my own, decisions others made for me. I have been alive, but have not lived. Well, I am about to be free. Free to do something worth while, free to make mistakes and learn from them, because isn't that what life is about? You make a bad decision and learn something vital from it.
I want to look back at my past with pride and no longer feel like I wasted meaningful years of my life.
After this day, I want to find myself. I want to take a car and just drive, with no destination in mind, just knowing that adventure awaits. You want to know why? Because no one is stopping me this time and I have the ability and choice to do so.
I want to tell great stories someday, true stories. I just need to get through this last day, then I am free at last, free to find out who I am and who I want to be, because I am not like everybody else. Same is true for everyone. No two people are alike. That's what makes life so valuable. My life is valuable and I choose to see value in others. Even if the same was not given to myself.
There is one last thing I need to do, the last thing that stands in my way, blowing out the candles on my birthday cake. This is the final test and step before I am set free. I blow them out without hesitation and with no wish in mind, because my one and only wish my whole life is of being discharged and released and that happens today. Some might say, "I was selfish for rushing the last moment of my youth", but I only get one life, and I have already wasted eight-teen years of it. I have the choice now, and I choose for it to begin now.
I will never look back. It only brings pain. I choose to be happy from this day forth.
My name is Tylar Aswell and I AM THE LION, a free lion.
Time Wasted : 18 years = 216 months = 939 weeks = 6,570 days = 11,03760 hours = 66,225,600 minutes = 2.3841216e+11 seconds
