Okay, so things didn't go as planned. He was supposed to know it was me who kissed him. Now he will go around thinking some random girl kissed him for new years. Great, just great. Now what do I do. Well I am going over to his house to hang out tomorrow. I will see him then. But until then I will rehearse our conversation. I put my favorite stuffed kitty in front of me on my bed. I start the conversation by saying, "Hi, I saw you at the the new years party. " I punch the stuffed animal off the bed out of frustration. No duh he was there, he took me. I can't think straight. All I can think about is that kiss. I will worry about the conversation tomorrow.
I wake up early the next morning. Pacing my blue themed room, I think about this afternoon. What will I say?! What will he say?! I'm not ready!! I can't tell him, I'll just play it cool.
At twelve I start to walk to his house, trying to think of something normal to say. By the time I get to his house all I could up with was hi. 😥What will I do? I'll probably end up doing some thing nerdy and embarrass myself. The last time I got so nervous that I couldn't talk. He kept on asking why I always get so nervous when I come over and I still couldn't talk!!😶 I slowly walk up the stairs to the door, when I rang the doorbell my feet started making small movements back ward, out of nerves. When he opened the door wearing one of those tight white tank tops so you could see his muscles. I slipped down the stairs that were behind me. 😭 I scraped both of my calves and bruised my hip from the fall. (ouch!!) But when Karter rushes down to help me up and carries me inside I was all better. Not really but I felt a lot better. When he put me down on the couch and asked if I was alright, I couldn't talk again, so I just shook my head no. (how embarrassing) But I wanted Karter to take care of me. He cleaned and wrapped my scraped calves, then brought an ice pack for me hip. Keep in mind the he is still in that shirt, so it was the best and worst day of my life. When I got my voice back he started talking to me. It went like this. "Hi, are you okay." He says in a calm sweet voice. I say, "Ya" gasping for breath. I try to make small talk by saying, "How are you" worst decision ever. He said, "I'm okay, but at the new years party some girl kissed me. I couldn't tell who it was, but they say who ever you are with at midnight is the person you will be with for the rest of the year. Who were you with?" I didn't know what to say so I lied. " Um... I was looking for you, but I couldn't find you before the fireworks." There was an awkward silence. Until I broke it by saying,"I should probably call my mom." But he quickly cut me off by saying, "No, I'll take you. Um... if you want." I nod my head and we don't break eye contact as he lifts me off the couch and gently puts me in the front seat of his truck. It was a five minute drive of silence to my house. When we got there he did that smile that always makes me blush. He helps me out of the car and into my house. I thank him then close the door. I sigh as I slide my back down the door. Then I put my head in my knees. This is the last time I will see him this month. He is going to a different country to do some medical help. And he has to spend a lot of time packing. 😞😭😠
Disappointed. Sad. Mad.
