It was a sunny day on Mars. The fresh wind from the recently terraformed planet blew through the leafs of the trees and blades of the grass.
Mars was the new earth, a beautiful place, where business flourished.
Earth in the meanwhile, had been abandoned and made a penal planet.
It was used for growing plants to terraform other planets and to mine valuables.
But no such thing was mentioned to the kids of Mars... No, Mars was heaven.
It is here where we first meet the captain of the magnificent ship known only as...
The Pickle Jar 17. At least, that's what the military boys liked to call it.
Lost Valhalla 17 was a near ancient ship, a former military cruiser.
She was less than stunning nowadays, the paint seeming to hold it together.
But Joe, her beloved captain, loved it ever so dearly.
With all that backstory out the way, we get to Joe in a problematic time
He still owed some people quite a bunch of money.
In fact... Too much money. So they kinda want him dead to rake in his bounty.
It's here where we find Joe running through the streets, rushing through the crowds.
Three suited men ran after him with guns out, yelling "BUNDERMAN, GET BACK HERE!"
Joe wasn't stupid and replied "SHOVE IT UP YER ARSE, MOTHERFUCKERS!"
"RUDE!" another gunman yelled, pouncing after him. "YER MUM'S RUDE!" he replied.
Overhead, the Valhalla 17 caught up, the massive spacecraft barely fitting between the buildings as a rope ladder was thrown down. It was Mora, the engineer.
"GET ON YOU FUCKING DINK!" she yelled and Joe, not being ENTIRELY stupid, jumped onto it.
The gunmen fired at him as the ladder was slowly raised, Joe clambering onto it.
"YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER, BUNDERMAN! YOU'LL GET KILLED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!"
"AYE, BUT AT LEAST NOT BY YOU THREE, HAHAAA! TELL YER MOM I SAID HI!"
And with that, the hatch closed. "Lift'er off, Milly! There's bound to be cops on the way!"
Milly sighed and started accelerating the massive cruiser.
"We broke at least twelve regulations just to save your dumb ass..." the little blonde grumbled.
Mora walked up to her and laid her soft brown lips onto hers. "Hush, baby..." she whispered.
Milly blushed and grumbled more under her breath.
The little blonde and pale little lady had a relationship with the caramel engineer.
It was strange to see the usually clean and germ hating albino and the oil covered, cigar smoking, short-fused engineer together, but somehow...
It worked and had worked since they met.
"Joe, I swear, you've gotta do something about this. Everywhere we go, the mob follows."
"She's right, Joe... The fucking mob is wherever we go because of you. Jonah, say something about it, I mean it's your life on the line too! I'm sure you have something to say about it!"
The old man slowly turned in his chair from his gunners post and scratched his beard.
"Listen... I grew up in a household of women... If I learned one thing..."
Mora raised her eyebrow and folded her arms. "Old man, if you're gonna say something sexist..."
"It's to never get mixed in the argument of a woman..." he said with a chuckle, turning back.
"That's what I thought..." she grumbled with a slight glare to the back of his chair.
If looks could kill, Mora had the eyes to be classified as weapons of mass destruction.
No one but the old man dared speak up against her, and even then rarely.
Mora was a no-shit-taken kinda girl, a real warrior.
As the Valhalla pierced the sky a tired voice came through the radio.
"For fucks sake Joe... Not again..." spoke a female voice.
It was the police chief of Mars. Quite a beautiful woman.
Short hair, looking mighty fine in her uniform.
Cold blue eyes looked through frameless glasses.
Joe and chief Mariam had their... 'Fun times', so to speak, from time to time.
But when she'd get angry... Her eyes would be so cold.
"Sweeetheeaart... Cutiiee... Eheh... Look... It's... It's not that bad this time!"
"YOU FLEW YOUR FUCKING PICKLE JAR IN THE MIDDLE OF A METROPOLIS! IT IS!"
Joe shot back in his chair, turning white in response.
"Eyyyy, I'll uuuh... I'll make it up to yooouu!"
"YOU BETTER, YOU FUCKING NO GOOD RAT!" she yelled before hanging up.
He sighed and sat back, getting out a bottle of vodka, taking a hard sip.
Yet another day survived in the lives of the crew of the Lost Valhalla 17...
YOU ARE READING
Where Stars Go to Die
Science Fiction*Attention:* for those still reading this book, it's fairly bad, it's hastily written and I'm not particularly proud of it, not as much as I used to be. I'm leaving this one up as a case study for how I used to write and to look at the mistakes I us...
